As of today....I didn't feel tired today when I woke up for school..knowing the fact that I'm always up so early...Guess that's just how bad my insomnia is...1st hour I might say was really relaxing, the most relaxing I've ever felt, and had a bit of some fun as well. So I liked it. 2nd hour was alright...=/ We ended up starting a new project with the stupid art line krap that I'm not so good at...what is up with tracing and straight lines? That always messes me up, it's like...TOO perfect lmao. It's just bothering me. I'm not so good with patterns and creative bright colors whatsoever. So this time, I'm just gonna let it go, even though I told myself that I would try hard and not let that happen but it happened T_T I hope it won't be like that all throughout...OR I WONT WIN ANYTHING AT THE FAIR ='[ *SNIFF SNIFF* 3rd hour was disappointing for me since I didn't do so well on my first math quiz of the semester...This week's report isn't gonna look so well for the math section =/...I tried my best too..like Idk wth happened...I almost cried ...idk!!! 4th hour was alright too, it wasn't too stressful, so far, I probably like 1st and 4th block the most and the 2nd and then 3rd...freakin' math I WAS good at math the most, but agh look at me now! In a college level class and can't even freakin' make it! So disappointed...:( Oh yeah, and did I mention that I HATE it whenever people stand up to walk and get their stuff from somewhere else then walk by and take like a freakin 3 MINUTE GLANCE at my artwork (in like...a criticizing way...like for example: "yeah hahaha look at her i just wanna see what she can do" kinda thing) & then when they walk back to their desk they do the same damn thing AGAIN and I'm like "Wtf...you know that I know you're watching me right?" Everytime that happens I can feel it because when I try to focus on the artwork I get REALLY into it, then when I stop, it's because of a 'DISTRACTION'. You know, kinda like when you're having a really good dream, and then your mom or somebody wakes you up then ruins your good dream. I know I'm harsh, but give me some room people. I mean, seriously? I don't mind if you're staring to admire, just as long as you don't stare to criticize. Sheesh. But currently... I'm...in wretched pain at the moment, I'm trying to find my inner self so I can calm down...and just be determined and inspired to do things like I usually do rather than worrying about things so much. I have so much shit going on right now...Lets see here...the ACT coming up...Wanna do my best as well, AP exam for Calculus this semester as well, 2 art classes I wanna do my best in...and then my relationship shit..I kinda feel like I wanna drop the relationship I really do. It's sorta getting in my way and it's bothering me. I hope that the guy I like right now is AT WORK...rather than ignoring the txt messages that I'm sending =/ Because then that would suck ass. Sorry for the language T_T...That reminds me, I still haven't even wrote down the new definitions for my Vocab words this week for English today..Well gotta go do that now...Updates either later tonight or tomorrow...Peace. I'm sorry I didn't update yesterday, I totally didn't feel like it, I was just trying to get my mind off of school for once, and it worked because My parents & I were watching a brand new Hong Kong Drama called "The Realm Beyond Conscience" It's really good even though the setting is like way ancient lol. Like...it's only been the FIRST week since 2nd semester has gone by & yet it felt like foreverrrrr. I still feel a bit of nervousness to come to each class everyday, but then I get used to it once I'm actually sitting in the class. Yesterday, we went to go buy my art stuff for art class and the art stuff was really expensive...Although I think it's worth it since I like drawing, I'm still nervous about painting because IT IS harder than drawing...So then, yesterday after I got home I spent like 3 hours working on the Clay stuff. I'm gonna continue that again today btw. I like keeping myself busy it's fun. I got really tired early yesterday & tried going to sleep early but didn't work so just had to get myself tired somehow then, early this morning somebody called 3 times at 6 in the morning and it got me mad since I already had trouble sleeping last night...ehh but found out that when I woke up this morning...I was in the bathroom washing my face and my mom came in and told me that our family members from Vietnam called & told her that my Grandma has cancer....She also told me that...the family members over there are hiding it from her ..the fact that she has cancer I mean...='[ I'm really sad...throughout my entire life I've only got to spend time with her for only about 2 years then I saw her a year ago but for only a week...I love my grandma to death...& knowing the fact that she might..yeaaaah...It hurts me & I was crying a bit this morning while making myself some Ramyung...=[ They said that if they go with the surgery now...there might be a chance that she might not make it since she's too old...Idk what to say or think...but also the thing is that...It runs through the family also =/ I'm not worried about myself whatsoever, I'm ready to go with whatever this world has in store for me. I'm ready to fight against it. Anything that's against me. Anyway, more updates either later today or tomorrow...Byeee =[... - Yeah....that doesn't sound good whatsoever...& this horoscope is mostly 85% correct...so I wouldn't disagree with it...My mind is like elsewhere at this moment....Unforeseen circumstances huh? Yeah doesn't sound good...oh well. Ugh. MY Love Horoscope Today: "You are going to have a very lovely period of romance right now, Aries, and these are all of the feel good vibes you have been looking for. Whether you are single or attached, you will find that you feel quite loving and warm, with a desire to give and receive affection and appreciation to those that hold your emotional interest. Also, your desire for beauty stimulates your creativity. If you are artistic, your work will be particularly inspired now. Indulging in your desire for beauty or luxury will be favored for you in this period, and may even inspire new means of romance in your life right now. This is a time where, if it feels good, go for it." -Wow this love horoscope on the other hand :D I LOVE it! This horoscope has truly inspired me to work harder & I'm definitely gonna try my best! Fortune Cookie of the Day: "If you want the rainbow, you must put up with the rain. D. Parton" -I think I understand what it means :D PS - I totally think my next inspired artwork would probably be 4MINUTE or SNSD :D who knows?! haha but if I got a choice I will do them.
Designer: Agnes
Base Code: Tammy
Image: Enakei
Image Host: Tinypic & Photobucket
NOTE**: I DO NOT OWN THE ICONS THAT ARE ON EACH OF MY POSTS, THE ICONS ARE CREDITED TO THEIR RIGHTFUL OWNERS, THANK YOU [CREDITS TO: K-pop Icons]
♥ Sunday, January 31, 2010
Currently: Finding the New World
I've gained alot of hope and faith now...after having my best and close friend supporting me..and my one and only boyfriend.. :) I feel like I can smile for the entire night, and possibly tomorrow too. I love it when he calls me "babe" it just puts a smile upon my face :) I mean after all this time...after feeling all depressed, hopeless, and alone...I guess I just needed a close friend to talk to about all of this stuff and express my feelings about what's going on...and I have just the right friend to talk to..I mean I'm so happy right now..I know things may get better or worse, but whatever happens, happens. I'm ready to go against anything right now, because it looks like my life is making an incredible sudden 'sharp' turn for a change :) Thank you...I just want to thank you two..for giving me so much hope, this is what I needed..I needed encouragement, I'm so glad that you two can understand me..I don't want this feeling to go away because I'm so happy to feel like this...It's been awhile really...I don't know..something so special...I'm hoping to see you again love..I wanna be in your arms and feel my lips touch against yours...so bad...Could you be the one? I hope so...& to my dear friend..I wish you luck with your love life, I hope that that guy will give you a chance...I don't wanna jinx you silly haha :) But I do wish you luck,..No matter what, I'm here for you. Don't worry. I'm here for you both loves...I love you two the most..But blah school tomorrow lmao. That just ruined the moment. But yeah, after feeling lonely and left out of things for awhile I mean... the entire week most likely and after talking about it..Gawd I feel so ALIVE GRRR lol. & talking about fun things is pretty kool and fun too. It gets your mind off of things :) And maybe who knows now...maybe I'm finding myself about to reach into and discover a new world ^_^ Well good night loves :) ♥
♥ My World My Life
8:22 PM
♥ Saturday, January 30, 2010
Currently: Wondering if I'm still here..
Okay so obviously there's something wrong with this blog editing thing..It won't lemme put my paragraph align on the left...so now it's like this..in the center...I got into a fight with my parents earlier, over something totally stupid, all because I didn't turn off the stove when the pot was boiling ugh. It's still hard to believe that school was cancelled Friday...but I was so happy though, I had more time to talk to him, and more time to practice for the ACT and stuff..Too bad I'm not gonna be doing the novel thing for English class..well on 2nd thought,...I might..Who knows. That's only if I feel like it and if I have time, because I don't feel like risking my grade anymore..Today..I keep wondering if I'm still actually here...because I don't feel like myself anymore..It's like I feel like a major slacker only focusing on hanging out with him now 0_0 which is not good..I mean there's nothing wrong with wanting to see him, but I gotta get back on track for school, this is a big issue you know..I gotta get into college! I CANNOT BE A FAILURE! Anyway...It's almost February loves! Valentines Day! UGH..wish I could see him on that day -__- SHIT why does everything I bring up have to relate to about him and me not being able to see him?! Ugh..so depressing. Lmao I'm sucha dramatic little girl. Hey..I needed the three day weekend, I just woke up this morning and thought today was Sunday and I was like "Ahh..man...tomorrow...back to school................OH WAIT! NO. We didn't have school on Friday so therefore it's only SATURDAY! YAY" & I started relaxing in bed :D Isn't that great? haha. Man I'm so random. Anyway I gotta study for the ACT now...Peace.
♥ My World My Life
4:12 PM
♥ Friday, January 29, 2010
Currently: Inspired By You
You bring the smile upon my face all the time..I wish I could see you...But I am truly inspired by you and now I am really wanting to dress up more now..and it's all because of you :) Man today was actually a beautiful and lovely wintery day, except now that it's starting to get dark it doesn't look as lovely anymore lol. Bleh I even find gloomy wintery days beautiful...'cept I don't like it to be too cold though. I wanna make sure that from now on I'm going to dress classy lol everywhere I go so yeah :) Unless I'm running out of clothes but that's another issue. Blah I got this novel thing to do for English but I don't feel like doing it at all whatsoever...I just feel like going to sleep and seeing him that's it lmao. I'm a lazy ass. Well at this moment in time anyway. I gotta go shower now so yeah, but the photoshoot on Sunday got cancelled and I'm a bit sad now so yeah. Anyway maybe some updates later? But who knows maybe tomorrow.
♥ My World My Life
4:00 PM
♥ Thursday, January 28, 2010
Currently: Falling Into a Beautiful Yet Fatal Love
Gawsh, what can I say? I really think I'm starting to fall for him...& I just hope that I'm not being fooled by him. I don't want to have my heart broken again, and usually if I do get my heart broken again and if it hardly effects me, then I'll know it's nothing to worry about..BUT on the other hand, if my heart is actually shattered and if I'm really effected by it...then I'll know that he was the one I loved...Sheesh I already told myself not to get into this kind of 'gay-ass' mess anymore..but I can't help it..It's like high school..and everybody's getting influenced on everything lmao. Watching The Secret Life of the American Teenager actually ties in with this kinda stuff sorta, well I meant the whole influencing thing, because right now so far I'm not seeing any true love or any of that going on as much. But man blah..I think I was about to lose it today...holy krap..Like about the whole Sunday thing...I don't even think I'm gonna be able to see him this week :( Gawsh it's so hard for me to get out and see him..like wth..I REALLY wanna see him!!! UGH! WHY WHY WHY DOES THIS HAVE TO HAPPEN TO ME WHEN I RLY LIKE A GUY?! AGGHH!! Can't even get to see his handsome, adorable, and cute face :( blah yeah whatever I know I need to stop whining but I can't help myself when he lives all the way across town from me, and we go to different schools! & my damn parents are strict as hell! Yeah I know my life can get worse ugh. At least he's there for me =/ Well I'm having issues with trying to pursue my career right now..I really love Art and I know I can do better on it, but I have no time since I'm Science -___- and it just sucks..because Idk I may have a passion for art that I've never experienced before, but so far I'm finding myself more interested in dancing and singing 0_0 shocking I know right? I can't even dance lmao, and singing I'm decent at it but I would never be in a school play or musical and be a main character that sings because well..first of all I wouldn't make it anyway haha. Our school needs better musicals and plays anyway, so yeah. Unless it's something good, I won't audition for it. That's just how I am, it's like, don't make me sing a song I don't wanna sing, you know? lol. But anyway, I gotta continue working on this drawing for my love. :) Peace out. Updates as of tomorrow. PS - Our school has an underground tunnel...0_o supposedly around a 4-hour walk..and my friend and I are gonna "explore" it later tomorrow..hopefully we aren't being fooled. Fingers crossed? Hoping for a funny and kool and great adventure? lol.
♥ My World My Life
6:44 PM
♥ Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Currently: Losing It...
Damn I don't know what to do anymore, my life is just so god damn complicated..=/ I mean seriously. If it's not my parents that are in my way, I actually let people step all over me because I'm such a nice person 0_0...I asked one of my close friends to judge the still life drawing of mine today, and he said it was good...but he said that the other chick's drawing is the best -__- & that chick happens to be one of the people I really don't like nor get along with...Yeah I'm not gonna let her get to me, well I'll try not to even though I've already felt that way but shit..I feel already pressured enough that I don't know what I'm actually gonna try to do anymore..All of the things are so close together..and they're pressuring me like crazy! UGH. I think I'm gonna go wild. Honestly at this moment in time, I don't even know what to think, I'd rather be in a 5 month coma thanks. lol. Geez...I wish I could find myself again..I just need to get myself together! Be inspired, be influenced! Aggghhh...What am I to do...Ottoke? lol...man that isn't even funny anymore...Look at my horoscope yo:
Daily Horoscope for Today:
"The emphasis for the day makes a major shift into the home and family life, and it seems to do so with one objective: to relieve you of some kind of burden or over-the-top responsibility that you've been waiting to let go of for some time. This is a very positive combination that's all about finding the inspiration and satisfaction from having brought things from a worse state to a better one. It is a good time to reflect on your achievements, but not good for resting on them, because a new adventure is about to unfold."
Just exactly what I had expected...Man I really DO need to get myself together! And that new adventure sounds scary...0_0 THIS IS GONNA BE THE SCARIEST RIDE OF THE YEAR!!! (maybe, it could get worse, but I don't wanna think about it!)
My Love Horoscope:
"Your energies are not at their best today, Aries, and if you are not careful, this will have an effect on your romantic affairs. Overall you are beyond cranky, and are even feeling a little belligerent, impatient, and argumentative. Whether you are single or attached, disagreements are likely to erupt because you aren't willing to overlook minor irritations as normally as you usually do. You may also find yourself in the midst of confrontations with others, but these will prove fruitful for you so long as you keep your anger in check. Overall there is an underlying air of competition in your love life, and this is what is propelling your moods. This is all perceived and there is no reality to back this up, so take things easy today and tomorrow will bring renewed energy."
Aw damn...T_T...I just hope tomorrow will be a better day at least...Sheesh what happened to last week? lmao It was going all good and everything...Stupid piece of krap life..Well I'm currently watching "The Secret Life of The American Teenager" some good stuff haha, it reflects upon life issues right now so yeah. Updates tomorrow. Nite.
♥ My World My Life
5:59 PM
♥ Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Currently: Feeling The Love
Damn..he makes me smile oh so much and he makes me so happy. Hehehehe he's about to face the temptations of a seductive angel >=] Oh yesss haha. Lmao. I'm crazy. I really wish I can see him sooner, and i'm really hoping to see him this weekend..I just hope everything works out..Please oh please...I beg of you..Please let it be him, he's simply amazing and I want everything to turn out perfect :) I really do..I just wanna be able to see him soon soooo baddd.
Check out my LOVE HOROSCOPE YO!
"You are going through a rather affectionate period, Aries, and this will bode well in your romantic affairs. You are feeling moved to express your affections much more openly than usual, and you will find this brings happiness to you today. Whether you are single or attached, you are both giving and receiving appreciation in the way that your romantic affairs need right now. Any relationships you are in or begin today will take on an emotional depth that you have been craving. By the day's end, you will be feeling very comfortable and content with all that is manifesting for you with love right now."
OH YES! HAHA. :D
School has been stressing lately though, I don't know what to think of what I wanna do anymore. Plus I'm starting to get pushed around and getting more pressured about things though too. The ACT the AP Exam, Calculus class and other classes too...AND my relationship...AND about prom GAH OMG! GRRRR. I haven't even been able to have a chance to update properly lol last time was the weekend haha. But I g2g now I gotta do math hw :( later!
♥ My World My Life
5:38 PM
♥ Monday, January 25, 2010
Currently: Looking Back
The whole entire day today, my body felt really tired but my mind obviously wasn't tired...but my face now..SURE DOES SHOW IT. I look hideous blah!! Dark circles around my eyes have gotten darker since I only had like 4 hours of sleep last night lmao, I stayed up talking to my love :) That's why. I kept on thinking about the past today...I don't know why...It's like my mind had a flashback sortaa..but I was looking back at all those times..Man those times SUCKED. lol. My life has gotten ...MAYBE a bit better now? Except I have less privacy and I get distracted more now..AND also the fact that I don't have much peace anymore lol. Blah I wanna get into college you know? Sheesh. High school is just so retarded..I mean people...drama blah blah blah who cares you know? lmao. Grrr well I got a whole buncha calculus homework to do, and HOPEFULLY my math teacher doesn't move us!!! But hey, I gotta go do the English Vocab thingy first. Maybe i'll update later! Peace!
♥ My World My Life
3:48 PM
♥ Sunday, January 24, 2010
Currently: Hoping 4 The Best..
As of today, I am dating him..I am happy,..I can tell you that...but for some reason I have a feeling of being unsure about this...I think it's only mostly because of the fact that my parents are strict and that I might hardly be able to hang out with him or see him...=[ Well, even so, I'm ready for it...ready for anything coming at me. After tonight, I'll become a stronger person...I just hope though. I really hope my friends support me through this. Not all of it though..but yeah. Afterall, he's the one I wanted for awhile...gawd he's simply, truly amazing..I just wish I could see him everyday...='[ but I can hardly see him at all, first of all we go to different schools, second of all we live like on different sides of town and it sucks really...GAH GAH GAH! AGHH!! I don't feel like going back to school yet, even though I have to, I just wanna wait for another 4 day weekend lol. Which will be in February so yeah :) Well I'm getting a bit tired and it's almost late so I gotta go to sleep before I get wiped out tomorrow! LATER! PS - I SIMPLY ADORE HIM.
♥ My World My Life
7:57 PM
♥ Saturday, January 23, 2010
Currently: Want to Break Down...
You just don't know how depressed I am..I know that love is not the answer to everything at the moment..But that's not the only issue I'm having to deal with at this moment in time. I feel like my life is being forced to head down only on one road..like as if my life is only limited with certain options, hardly do I ever get to make my own decision. I'm only a teen, and yet I feel like as if the world is on top of my shoulders right now, carrying all that pressure that you made me deal with. Dear mother & father, I'm not trying to blame everything on you and make you feel extremely guilty, but I no longer feel like I have a reason to be on this world because of the things you are limiting me on doing. I don't feel like a normal teen, you force me to be a good child, when I naturally am one, I can just be spoiled..that is it. I just think that I would not be so rebellious towards you if you gave me a chance to show you, even though there is already enough to show, to be honest...& to let you see that I cannot go living this kind of life for such a long time...& if you weren't so hard on me, I wouldn't be a rebel as well. Since I am the one who is expressing my feelings and just saying as how it is, I think that I would know best on how I feel so please don't think that you know what is best for me. I learn from my mistakes, but I am still your daughter, and I inherit your smart traits..I would not go as far as to do anything foolish, and stupid that would ruin my life forever. I want to be able to learn how to deal with life and how to live in it but in this case, I feel like I will never be able to if you keep me trapped among you all the time. Yes, sure I know that you'll "let me go" when I am past 20 years old...but do you think that it is really a good thing for me to be trapped inside a house all the time, being babied all the time will help me understand more about life on my own? How the hell am I supposed to understand what is out there waiting for me? Once you let me go, I am definitely going to be so confused and I would be so lost...once I'm out in that dark scary world on my own. Right now, deep down inside, I just feel so confused, lost, I don't know what to do actually, I feel angry, depressed, sad...basically anything BAD you can think of. Let's see here, you want me to focus on my education, and I already do that, I am nearly a straight A student, what else do you want from me? I am no genius, I cannot do all of the things you ask me to and get it perfect. I understand and appreciate all the things that you do for me because I know that you love and care for me and you are just wanting to protect me, and I continue to want you to do that...but just not so much that I cannot breathe okay? Your ways of wanting to do what is right as parents, are nearly suffocating me. I am not saying you are bad parents but seriously...I feel like I need my own space. Now that I think about it, sometimes I don't even have the privacy that I want...I don't even get to hang out with my friends much...Why do you think that it'll be such a bad habit if you let me hang out with my friends more often? I am not a bad kid, why will you not let me out of the house more? How will I be able to pursue and REAL life and career in the future if I don't understand what the outside world is like? You are keeping me from wanting to see the life on the outside! Honestly, I do not feel satisfied with my life right now, sometimes I think back about the 'luxurious' life that you have given me..and think to myself..."You know what? I'd rather sacrifice this luxurious life in order to live a normal life as to where I can hang out whenever it's possible" Every time I think of that line, ...I really just want to break down and simply cry my eyes out. Because you have given me so many things that I wanted, but in reality...I just want to be able to hang out and actually have a social life. I would not think of abusing it, because I know that school is my number 1 priority and I want to have a good education. I would still continue having good grades like I do now...& I would not hang out if I had a huge important project, essay, or assignment to do. I know what is right and wrong, I have a conscience. Trust me, I do. Truly, I think that you are controlling my life....from the beginning, ever since I was born, you told me that I had to become a doctor...Is that really what I want? Or is it what you want? I find myself more revolved around things dealing with art, although I am more good at science...But I'm just not sure what I want to do with my future, I'm just only doing it for the fact that I want to make you proud and happy. You never want to listen to my side..never..because you think everything you say and do is right....but no one is ever right all the time. Father, both you and I know that we have had a fight over this before, ever since that day, I never thought of you the same, I'm sorry to say..because you took advantage of me, do you know how mad, upset, and torn apart I was? I asked myself..."Is this just a really bad dream? Or is this a reality that I'm not sure what actually happened to it?" I definitely thought to myself and kept asking myself if you were actually my father that night...I cannot believe you would go that far as to not let me out of the house ONLY to go to Asian Fest with my friends! Now I'm just scared for asking for a bit more freedom because I think you'll actually do something foolish again...My life feels like trash right now...Honestly at this moment in time I just feel like I'd rather die rather than dealing with all of this because I feel like I need to be reborn again as a new person...with a new life and actually having a meaning to be alive in life..That feeling of being alive..I need to feel it but I don't! Why did you bring me into this world? I'm probably the most selfish person ever. I'm not saying I would commit suicide over this, but if I ever die...maybe my mind would rest more in peace...=/
Right now..I want to break down so bad..But I can't because I want to stay strong and not let this overcome me..because right now...all of the things I've done have led me to a path as to where I must climb over a gigantic mountain....a path where I no longer have a close friend...a best friend..no longer have one...No one close so that I can talk to about my feelings, I feel so alone...You will not even let me date...
I really like a guy at this moment...but I feel like it's going nowhere between him & I...Are you keeping me from possibly finding the person who is right for me? I'm currently making it harder for both him and I right now because of my condition with US...My life has no meaning whatsoever...It only has a dramatic, and most pathetic story to tell...That is it. Dating doesn't hurt, as long as I still remember the right and the wrong. Yeah I know it's because you don't trust me enough, because I'm still young and don't know anything...I'm sorry if I ever disappointed you so much...I think I'm just done talking about this before I say anything else..I am done.
♥ My World My Life
8:18 PM
♥
Currently: Smiling 4 U My Silly Goose :)
So it's a Saturday...& I'm at home...wth..I'm still managing to make it on my own..you know? Like still being happy, silly, goofy, and smiling for the guy I really have feelings for right now.. :) I thought my family & I were gonna go out today and go somewhere..like shopping perhaps..But no, we didn't because my dad went to work and I have no idea why. My mom told me that we're gonna go out to eat tomorrow, that's all I know. We're gonna be going to a Japanese Steak House..and um..hopefully I'll be able to eat tomorrow? Because with my sugery and all..it hasn't even been a week yet.. T_T But I REALLY REALLY wanna eat...I've been trying to force myself to hold back from eating all the stuff I used to always eat, because I want my mouth to heal..but It's too hard..it's like pressure y'know? I really want real food lol. But too bad how sometimes I still can't chew properly either...Bleh..won't be until the middle of next week or the end of next week when I can actually eat normal again. After I took a shower today I was admiring my skin and face, then all of a sudden I looked up and saw that I had a slight greenish-yellow bruise along the right side of my chin and I was like "wow...." I hadn't noticed it...till today, it's not extremely noticable but damn I didn't know I bruised because of the procedure, but okay lol. Bruises are normal for me. I bruise easily. Bleh still can't believe I got a C in English because I forgot to turn in my homework, ....ONLY because she didn't remind us we had to turn it into the basket,...!! Like I swear..she never said anythingggg to remind us that we had to turn it in, other than the day before when she told us she's giving us another day....yeaaah nvm. LOL. GRRR Hopefully my grade goes up! Sheesh, Haven't had a C in a class in one hell of a long time, last time was like 7th grade...0_0....But man...now like I'm feeling a bit queasy...and uneasy..because I just txted/msged him...but he's not replying back...maybe he's out with his friends doing stuff...Hopefully not kissing other girls and BLAH BLAH BLAH MAN ID BE MAD GR. Well he told me to trust him =/ ...but Idk...GRR What am I thinking and saying! blah Im out!
♥ My World My Life
6:21 PM
♥ Friday, January 22, 2010
Currently: In Hopes & Dreams
The earthquake in Haiti was terrible ='[ my goodness, I'm currently watching it on Bravo right now & I can't believe how many people have lost the people who are most dearest to them...It's so sad...Lots of people now have no homes & are injured...Life sucks so bad =/ I hope all of the people of Haiti will make it through all of this soon.
I finally finished Beyond the Realm of Conscience last night with my mom and wow, I mean the ending was decent, but I wasn't so satisfied with it though...Not exactly what I had expected. But it still was a good drama Id have to admit that. So today at school, first block I just sorta had fun and chillaxed and talked to my friends and found out something extremly new & shocking lol something somebody said about meee! lol. & then our class 2nd block spent the entire hour working on shading our still life drawings of shapes and stuff. 3rd hour was crazy because our Calculus tests are usually 15 problems or less...So it's like if you miss only like about 3 or 4 you're still screwed lmao. I wanna have an A in Calculus this time though...& 4th hour was actually really fun we presented our group's poetry project, and everybody liked our video because they were laughing at it, haha it was supposed to be like a parody sortaa. I can't believe I screwed up and didn't turn in my 10 point homework (yeah i know right) & I only have like 5 participation points, but everybody else didn't have that much either because 2nd semester just only like started..lol. But I turned it in and yeaaah.
After school I rode the bus home with my friend and my other friend came along too, and while we were on the bus, a person who I really don't talk to much but I knew, and went to my middle school like had his phome and I think he was trying to take a picture of me with his phone??? lol I wasn't sure but I was just like acting normally haha & listening to my music. We went to go see Legion and it was an alright movie, not exactly what my friend and I had expected but still sorta kool though, especially with the Grandma part lmao that was funny & creepy at the same time. lol. Now I'm like really tired and I'm about to just pass out any moment haha.
Also I realize that I'm starting to really really like the guy that I'm talking to right now...I just hope that he really is honest about his feeling towards me...I hope that he really does want me..because I want him too...ANYWAY....
WELL now I can't wait for SNSD's new album release!!! Called "Oh!" CANT WAIT!!! The music release will be sooon & so will the Music Core performance. I just also saw the teaser and the girls look GORGEOUS! CHECK IT OUT!! :D
Well I'm out haha. Peace :)
♥ My World My Life
6:41 PM
♥ Thursday, January 21, 2010
Current Mood: LOL, WTF
Lol I swear I'm so tired I nearly passed out on my bed then went back onto my laptop to check my AIM chatbox, then I just remembered that I hadn't updated my blog yet but wowwwww my ex is already dating another chick lol wtf. It's like really funny because she's not even attractive no offense lol, I know I might get bad luck or karma after saying that but yeaah..& Like we just broke up last week and now he's already with somebody else? Or is that bastard trying to make me jealous?? Lol yeah if so, it's not working honey. lol. I'm too tired to say anything else really..I just wanna go to bed lol. Oh yeah I got a Calculus test tomorrow and I didn't even study or do my study guide thing...or whatever it is lol. Yep totally gonna fail the exam, not on purpose lol, but yeaaah unless I'm lucky I might pass it but that's like a 20% chance. I might be going to the movies with my friends tomorrow to go see "Legion" Who knowsss, we were supposed to go see 2 movies but my parents were strict about me being out for too long blah blah blah. Sheesh I think I'm just gonna be totally a loser once I be an adult like seriously? Thanks mom, thanks dad T_T *sarcasm* UGH. Treating me like I'm a little kid when I'm a freakin' teen lol. I'm not THAT rebellious...if they treated me a bit better I'd probably even think about being like the best kid they've ever had lmao. Yeah right. B/c they prefer my half older sister over me which is sad on my part. But I would be a good kid though to prove to them that I was worthy of having more freedom. FATHER I WANNA BE ALLOWED TO DATE WHEN IM 18 :) lol Random. Blahhh. Night peeps. :D
♥ My World My Life
8:13 PM
♥ Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Currently: Making A Dedication to a Special Guy :)
So today went pretty well actually...The day went by a lot faster than I had expected, I mean so much faster even when we JUST got back to school today too. Surprisingly. But It's all good haha. 1st hour today was relaxing, which is a great thing. 2nd hour....ehh we started on another assignment...and well it's alright...I just get nervous and all when I work on an artwork in the class where everyone else is doing the same thing...I keep getting that feeling and I hate it lol. Wish I could just be comfortable enough to work anywhere, anytime...I just wanna be more influenced with art because it's so amazing and I have such great ideas for an artwork..but Idk if I can do it..? Sheesh too much pressure. This semester, got the ACT to study for, and then AP Exam, both major tests that are timed T_T hate those freakin' tests. They should just give us time to work on it, because I think it's pointless when you test a student like that..I mean people don't wanna know how smart you are by how fast you do your work and try to get everything right like it's a race, it's mostly based upon knowledge and thinking to see how students apply their thinking into their own work =/ Geez..Anyways, I've been having issues looking for clothes to wear lol...0_o I have tons of clothes I just hate bringing out and wearing new ones every single day, and then end up wearing old clothes again..you know? Yeah I'm a spoiled little brat lol. & sooo I'm starting to fall for the guy now :) :) I'm soo happy...I'm not gonna rush though...according to my horoscope I shouldn't lol. God of Study needs to updated some more, and yeaaah I'm almost near the end of Beyond the Realm of Conscience, I'm about to go finish it with my mom now. Check out my horoscope below! lol.
My Daily Horoscope:
"Your personality and charisma cycles are at a peak today, and it really shows, Aries. By the end of the day you may be wondering why everyone seemed so accepting or helpful or even constructively critical today. This would include friends, co-workers, supervisors or parents, or even your partner. The one thing you need to watch out for today is thinking that you've got an opportunity to "slack off" because of everyone's amiability. This is the time to show those with whom you are connected, and those you are responsible for, exactly what you're made of."
-Wow the first part really did happen, because I felt really accepted today for some reason...o_0 Usually I don't haha or maybe because it's just me lol...But the 2nd part lmao..I started doing my homework after I read that hahahaha. Silly me :)
MY Love horoscope:
"There is something to be said about being a little grounded, isn't there, Aries? You know this all too well, and you are certainly enjoying this moment now when it comes to romance. What is happening right now is very close to this happy that you have been looking for, so lay the groundwork well and you will reap the rewards. It is also a time to go with the flow when it comes to your romance. That means take things slow, nothing intense or rushed, this one isn't going anywhere any time soon."
-Weird how one of my good friends said the same thing today, well this is like a warning lol so yeaaah I'ma have to take note of that! lol
My Fortune Cookie of The Day:
"The world may be your oyster, but it doesn't mean you'll get it's pearl"
-THIS IS A GOOD FORTUNE!! LOL
Peace out guys!
♥ My World My Life
4:53 PM
♥ Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Currently: Daydreaming
Oh wow it nearly almost slipped my mind that I haven't updated my blog yet =O I should be ashamed of myself lol which I am lol. But you know I realized today that my cousin always has my back covered :) She's such an amazing person and fun to be around with too. Who knew that this dude I just started liking would capture my attention soooo fast, I just hope that I'm not making a mistake. =/ I know I make a lot of mistakes but lets not go on with this lmao. Anyway, I'm just wishing I can see him again soon...I really wanna see him soooo bad it's not even funny!! Oh btw, I decided to move on from my ex...I realized he's such an a-hole for doing what he did...after I talked to my cousin it's pretty much cleared up. So now I'm sure he's doing just fine in forgetting about me also since he likes another girl so it's not a problem right?? Yeah okay I hope it won't be. I'm going back to school tomorrow blah,...and my face is still swollen wth and I can hardly eat normally too nor brush my teeth correctly. But aghh oh well, this is the one last time I'm dealing major pain with in my mouth HOPEFULLY!!! Man I want real food at the moment...But man I was freaking out today earlier...I think I should have a reason to? Because it felt like I was losing my ability to draw...Idk like for some reason ever since I started freaking out over the fact that I need to win or draw faces better lol I started like having this freakout thing like a mental breakdown you know? ...Man I need to stop and I need to stop saying man lol. Well It's late I gotta go to bed soon for school and it's also for the sake of my face as well lol. So PeACE!
♥ My World My Life
7:38 PM
♥ Monday, January 18, 2010
Currently: On My Own
Wow...so the shots to numb my entire mouth HURT LIKE HELL! I had like about 10 shots total for the whole entire procedure luckily, some of the ones later on didn't hurt as much because they were partially already numb in the first place so yeaaah. But my face was swollen and I kept on bleeding, I am still bleeding a little bit but the swelling has went down a bit. Other than that...I'm doing alright. Hopefully I'll be better tomorrow hopefully. Blah this procedure was such a pain! haha. But it's all good, at least it was only a one time thing only. lol. But other than the physical pain, I'm still dealing a bit with the emotional pain although I'm strong enough just like my Daddy to get through with both of the pain because I'm not gonna let anything get in the way of what I need to do. I'm strong enough to know that. So the dude I like asked me out and told me to answer him whenever I'm ready :) Idk when that'll be but I just...Really like him and I don't wanna make it seem like after I just got out of a relationship I'm jumping right into another one, I also don't want him to wait that long...Because I'm sure it'd be a pain in the ass for someone to be waiting on another person for like an amount of time that only that person knew about..But blah my dad gave me the sleeping medicine way to early but I sorta needed it because the pain was really kicking in awhile ago so yeah...I'm pretty much exhausted! More updates later tomorrow PEACE.
♥ My World My Life
5:51 PM
♥ Sunday, January 17, 2010
Current Mood: Melancholy
Hopeless. Useless. Wasteful. Blah I don't even know what to do anymore..It's like I feel guilty but I no longer wanna hold him back and make him suffer with the things I need to do and he's kinda in my way of wanting to do these things =/ by making ME feel guilty. He's the one who had feelings for another girl..the one who basically broke up by onliiiiine...had contact and could contact me but wouldn't because he obviously doesn't care, and just doesn't wanna do it -__-. I don't know, it's like at one point I'm really sad but then again something is telling me that I need to get through my own issues first because my goals are my number one priority, and the number one priority is not love. Although I wouldn't mind being in a relationship but I don't think I'd go that far as to a commitment anymore =/ maybe I don't know. Anyways, tomorrow's the day when I'm getting my wisdom teeth pulled out, I don't know if they're going to knock me out or make me feel dizzy and numb me...but either way I just hate pain and I don't wanna go through and experience the after pain but I have to T_T unfortunately, but since other people have done it, I can do it too :) So it's all good in the hood homies lmao jk. I really think I need to improve on my human drawings lmao (not actually funny but yeah) so that I can actually have a chance at winning at the project's fair!!! GAH! So competitive...-___- Well I'm gonna go set up the drama for my family & I to watch so peace out guys! Updates tomorrow! GAH WISH ME LUCK! D:
♥ My World My Life
6:41 PM
♥ Saturday, January 16, 2010
Currently: At the Edge of Conscience
My gawd, today I realized how much this world has began to become so....trashy...T_T I didn't know another good word for it lmao. But after continuing to watch Beyond the Realm of Conscience, my parents told me that that's how the world actually is on the outside...I'm gonna go ahead and be straight honest, but some people don't try and look beyond things and attempt to lurk beyond the possibilities in order to have a conscience about life because they're so narrow-minded, & I really don't like those people. I, myself, have gone through things in the past before, and realized that there's much more to this world than just beyond what the human eyes can see. Us humans may nearly make anything possible. What bothered me the most today was the fact that I realized how people have lost so much respect for other people lately...Especially, in America, where I live now =/ I'm not saying that other countries aren't disrespectful either but I'm stating simply on what I see & have experienced or actually experiencing. Today, I was at Wal-Mart and we were in an aisle looking at some stuff for my mom, and while I was reading the back of a box and talking to my mom at the same time, some chick just squeezes in, and pushes her way through between us just to get into the aisle..that pisses me off...there's such thing as "Excuse me." or "May I get through, please?" Or maybe considering going around...-___- psshh lmao yeah right, there are only about a few people nowadays who are as polite and respectful as that, I honestly think in my opinion that America provides too much freedom for people nowadays that they don't even respect people anymore, maybe this is the answer to why we've lost some respect from other countries and people?? Sheesh, open your eyes people, is your conscience here?! Damn..& THEN, after that happened, ANOTHER lady with a shopping cart was waiting out by the aisle that we're in and just stood there and waited and said nothing. HELLO, you gotta mouth, use it to say and tell us that you need to get through!! >=[ my gawd people it aint hard! You're not gonna get arrested for being polite and speaking up! Unless she was racist, then I wouldn't be surprised. =/ But then like my dad saw her and he said "Oh, you need to go through into this aisle?" then she said "Yes, I do" and I was like "T___T....*annoyed*" Then I started saying stuff in viet xD I said to my parents *translation* "Oh my gawd..she should've said she needed to get through...are you kidding me? people nowadays.." Then my dad was like "Yeah...she could've gotten around..to get into the aisle.." Lmao. & then I was like PEOPLE THESE DAYS!!! I just think that if you respect other people, then they'll respect you back...No need to complain or bitch about it if you're going to disrespect other people then get bashed for being that way =/ am I right? Basically, I'm just sick and tired of hearing people complain when it's basically their fault..I chose to change myself throughout my own life in order to fix my mistakes and not make the dumb ones over and over again and not learn my lesson..Sometimes I may disrespect also, but it would be like standing up for someone or something that actually has a good meaning to it. Or intentionally meaning to have a good meaning lol. You know what I mean.
My Daily Horoscope:
"You may find yourself having to deal with officials or agencies today Aries, even though your mind is on attaining your goals, aims and ambitions. If this is a day on which you've decided to work with tax or licensing matters, that's one thing, but in the later part of the day, stay out of arguments with others, no matter how justified you feel; you may end up dealing with officials of a different stripe. You also may receive hidden information today that will be helpful to you in the near future: hold on to it for now."
-This horoscope scares me in some ways...lol.
MY love horoscope:
"Today is not a day where you are feeling particularly compromising, Aries, so when it comes to matters of the heart, anything heavy will not go over well today. This is not a good day to come to any kind of agreement with somebody, as you will be asked for more than you can give and it will only breed resentment for you. Instead, try putting your own grievances on the table with as much diplomacy as possible. If the tension building is unmanageable, you may want to put a pin in this until tomorrow."
- This horoscope is 100% agreeable and mostly correct so I really like today's love horoscope :)
My Fortune Cookie of the Day:
"A closed mouth gathers no feet"
-I wish to know what that means lmao...0_0
♥ My World My Life
7:20 PM
♥ Friday, January 15, 2010
Currently: Neutral
Bleh..I thought Id decide to update before I went to bed...So yeah..I'm extremely tired & exhausted today which is why I'm deciding to go to bed a bit early. Which is good for my health anyway so I don't mind. It also helps relax my mind for the next day and it improves my skin complexion and you get the idea lol. =/ Hardly talked to anybody online today, I only felt like continuing watching Beyond the Realm of Conscience with my mom again, and it feels nice because every time when I watch dramas they put my worried mind somewhere else...or give me more strength & encouragement and help me not to think about the stuff that stresses me out or bother me. I don't know what to do with my love life anymore to be honest, I just feel like I have other important things to do rather than deal with all of this love krap. I wouldn't say that the next relationship I get into will be necessarily called "using" that person, but more of wanting the comfort and support that I need since I don't have a close best friend any longer like how I used to...Sometimes I find myself feeling really lonely and I get that feeling that I really need somebody there to talk to me and what not. I'm sure I'm not the first who's felt that way. I'm glad I don't have any homework, but I'm still nervous about the pain I'm gonna go through on Monday with my wisdom teeth and all. Today at school was actually a pretty good day, I had a ton of good laughs. :) So I could think about that and smile about it, but when it comes to the other things...I can't help it but it turns my smile upside down =/ But you know the drama that I'm watching with my mom right now is REALLY good haha It's getting very interesting. I realized that my personality kinda crawls back and forth between the two main female characters of the drama .jpg)
.jpg)
If they don't impress you when you look at these pictures, I suggest you watch the drama yourself & judge them then haha, because they are beyond gorgeous in real life, and their beauty shines throughout the entire drama. These two chicks here are Charmaine Sheh, & Tavia Yeung lol :) I admire them both... Well I ran outta things to say rofl..Off to bed now, Night-night!
♥ My World My Life
6:50 PM
♥ Thursday, January 14, 2010
Currently: Feeling Neglected
Sweets...are almost the answer to anything, as much as it harms my body and the rest of the majority of the population in America...it really helps you sooth your mind...and seek the 'sweetness' behind the situation. Blah, Idk if you ppl feel that way but I surely do. I've been trying to so hard to lay off of the sweets lately...it's working, but after I do that...I go crazy afterwards then I just attack all the sweets I see =/ So I won't be surprised if I became a diabetic later on in the future lol. I guess all of this school and relationship stuff is getting to me so much that it's nearly killing my brain...& makes me not wanna do anything anymore..I think i'm about to go outside and watch "Beyond the Realm of Conscience" with my mom =/ See if she's in the mood. I'm getting my wisdom teeth pulled out Monday and I'm scared as hell! It might hurt like crazy for meeee...=[ Agh...Also...My relationship is pretty much over today...I'm not crying about it...it's just that my heart still aches every time I think about it..& it hurts me because he's not the one to blame..but I am..='[ Idk what to say anymore...I'm trying so gawd damn hard right now to draw people so that I can get myself prepared for art class more...This is driving me all nuts...I deserve it though. My stupidity got the best of me and I admit it...Good bye people..Later..
♥ My World My Life
6:07 PM
♥ Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Currently: A Nerdy Loner
Well..I really DO feel like a nerdy loner right now...I feel so lonely at the moment & for some reason I like keeping it that way because being alone feels...sorta nice and peaceful. The nerdy part belongs to the category as to which I always wanna do my best in school & I was stressing out today about the fact that how I realized most people in my art class can be so creative...with the colors and lines...I don't know what to do...OTTOKE?! lol....T_T I REALLY REALLY xINFINITY wanna win at the Project's Fair...I'll do whatever it takes to do my best, even if it means taking the time out of my freakin' Calculus class (unless I was failing or whatever) BUT HEY I LOVE art and I'm willing to do whatever it takes to exceed and be SUCCESSFUL. I feel the same way about my 1st hour class now too...I just don't know what to think at this moment really. My heart is also broken at the same time, this is probably gonna be the 2nd time that my heart's gonna be scarred. =/ ='[ unfortunately...Where did I go wrong? Maybe I'm thinking that it's karma...But oddly strange...My horoscope is mostly true now..it's scary actually...I just kinda imagine it happening like Final Destination but in a better way lmao. I just got done watching Final Destination 4 yesterday so yeah. I need to look for that inspiration again...Just haven't gotten the time so I'm probably going to take the advantage tonight...My heart aches right now...I love him so much...Why did this ever happen...Every time I think about it I wanna break down even though we haven't even broke up yet...but I feel the time coming up soon...Nothing lasts forever...=/ Blah...Updates maybe later tonight or tomorrow...Later...wish me luck.
My Daily Horoscope:
"Saturn powerfully affects you, Aries, because of his retrograde in your relationship house. Maybe something looked like it was going to be forever, but now it does not, or maybe something that was fading away is now coming back into strength. Saturn is moving very slowly now, so it will be some time before things fully play out. Continue on the course you know is right for you; Saturn is testing that course to make sure it's "sea-worthy". You can be sure that whatever or whoever is not acting in your best interests is being borne away now."
-Saturn? As in the planet right? That's...like my favorite planet LOL. But anyways...Wow this is so true, & this is like kinda like giving me advice on what road to choose haha...but man I shouldn't be too calm at this moment in time...
MY Love Horoscope:
"There will be a change of energy in this period of romance for you, Aries, so you want to think more and say less right now. This is a time where observation will come in very handy for you, as this could be a challenging time otherwise emotionally. Whether you are single or attached, you may find that emotions, perhaps coming from another person or event, are in disharmony to your romantic dreams and goals. This energy can stifle any imagination you may have, resulting in an emotional confrontation with romantic partners or interests. Try to find out what brought out this confrontation and see if you can deal with it or it needs to be let go. Sometimes it really is better to just walk away, and if you pay attention more than you speak, you will have the right cues sent to you today on your next steps."
- So...pay attention more and speak less? I've done that today, I've read these horoscopes before I went to school LOL. Sometimes these are like warnings to me. So yeaah..But man...this is gonna be a challenge.
Fortune Cookie of the Day:
"Love begets love."
-Probably...
♥ My World My Life
1:58 PM
♥ Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Currently: Finding My Way
Wow if only I knew how to update the the blog poster thing sooner it would've helped me like 2x better compared to the old one 0_0. The reason why I don't like Tuesdays are because they come after Monday...& I think this day is just useless because it's like a day that teases you, thinking a day has gone by but actually even though it makes you think that way but you got like 3 more damn days along the week. Hoping that my art teacher will come back tomorrow..because we were still continuing to do that assignment that I'm so bad at....It makes me feel ashamed when I see other people do better than me =/ Now I'm REALLY scared to find out how I paint...=[ Yesterday wasn't so good..last night talking to the two guys...or actually 3 but at different times...all nothing good...What has this world done to me...I have a four day weekend coming up so I'll probably er...most LIKELY be using that time to study & practice for the ACT to get myself prepared, the score I got on the practice one was not so good...decent for a practice test where you haven't studied at all or even prepared for it...but not good enough for the actual test. It's weird how teachers and people always scare you in reality about some things but sometimes they don't come out that bad...I heard from a friend that her sister took the ACT and got a score below the score that they require and she still got into college -__- I don't get it. I think honestly teachers are just trying to make us do our best to actually try to get a scholarship, because I know I want one so I will definitely not back down. I'm really wanting to see God of Study right now...but unfortunately there's only been 2 episodes so far...& plus including the fact that every time when I'm trying to see it, the video says "VIDEO UNAVAILABLE; License pending in your territory" Like wth...What license? Sheesh, I mean seriously...If people in other countries can see it, why can't we? lol. I wouldn't be complaining if I lived in Korea though :) hehe. But now I gotta read this thing assigned for English class. A quick glance at the story already shows me I don't even understand it lmao. Hopefully....tomorrow, or tonight will go good...AT LEAST tomorrow ....GOD OF STUDY CAST!! :D
♥ My World My Life
3:34 PM
♥ Monday, January 11, 2010
Current Mood: Wretched Pain
♥ My World My Life
3:15 PM
♥ Sunday, January 10, 2010
Current Mood: Sad & Worried
♥ My World My Life
8:41 AM
♥ Friday, January 8, 2010
Current Mood: Waiting For YouAre you willing to wait for me...? I don't know how much longer this is gonna stretch out...I'm sorry if I hurt you later on...I really am...I really do like you...I don't plan on hurting anybody because those aren't my intentions but...I know my mistakes now...Please you don't ever have to talk to me again as long as you try to understand how I feel and what I mean...='[Today...was alright...Although I did feel quite accomplished since I finished with my shoe drawing in Art class :D It turned out fantabulous LOL. I was really happy too, I'm nervous to find out what the next project is going to be. The shoe project was due today in class, she gave us a total of 3 days to work on it, so yeah, it was enough time, I'm glad I brought it home the first day rofl or else I wouldn't have finished it on time. Our next project starts next Monday & I'm realllyyyy curious to find out what it is. For my first class, Idk if whether or not my teacher will give us more time on our clay box project but I sure hope so, I'm glad I kept some clay and kept it at home so I can work on the stuff, I'm really determined to come up with the msot creative designs more than anybody else & impress the teacher, so far my box looks accurate so I'm satisfied with that. I just feel that I might spend too much time thinking of how it'll look afterwards rather than actually thinking about how the designs are going to be and how I'm gonna put my mind to it. It's always been like that for me. I have homework for Calculus but Idk if I should do it this weekend or not...depends on if I have time or not, I understand most of the stuff but I'm sure it'll get harder...I'm also happy I finished my derogative essay in English class just on time today too. I worked hard on it last night for the rough draft then all I had to do was right the final draft but surprisingly it took me the entire hour to do so..=/ amazing isn't it. So now this weekend is to relax and not think or worry about things too much and just have fun & get inspired with my artwork. I realized that I can just not worry about a thing if I just have fun & not pay attention to what everybody else is doing so much. I just gotta remember that though rofl. Although..I know I got my own issues to deal with & to possibly solve if I can...this semester might possibly drive me crazy enough to even drop every relationship I have with everyone...0_0 It might sound scary but it's worth it, because like I have said and promised to myself before...I would drop anything that would get in my way of succeeding and trying to reach my goal. That's the gist of it really. The guy I like...he seems like he's a bit sad and always stressed about everything..especially about our deal...because he said he wants to be with me but I don't know what to do I can't just leave the guy that I'm with. Because I have feelings for him too =/ ....Gahhhh. This sucks. I don't know what to do at all, but i'm not gonna worry about it because I got other things to do. So yeah. Anyway, I'm currently LOVING HyunAh's new solo song!!! CH CH CH CHANGE! hahaha :D *heart* Now i'm just waiting for the other member's solo releases and upcoming and new SNSD!! YAY. HEHEHE :) Later loves. x]
♥ My World My Life
3:54 PM
♥
Today's Daily Horoscope:
"Things may seem to really be headed in a good direction in the relationship department, Aries, but if they look like they are moving a little too fast, they probably are. There may be a plan that does not pan out for the day, and your focus seems to be elsewhere anyway. Just because you and others are busy, it is no excuse for making promised that can't be kept, or planning for one thing when you know you are responsible for another. Unforeseen circumstances may arise to ruin your plans with another as well."
♥ My World My Life
3:48 PM
♥ Thursday, January 7, 2010
Current Mood: InspiredToday...well it was actually better than I had expected & thought. :) & Just to think I was actually gonna think of wasting this good day by hoping that school would get cancelled because of the weather lmao. It was FREEZING this morning, but got better in the afternoon, but knowing that things are due tomorrow & mainly because I got a math quiz tomorrow I really don't want school tomorrow xD I haven't been able to get a chance to do a lot of my math homework...I get lazy when it comes to math really...especially when it's boring CALCULUS.. gross lmao. The only thing I like about that class is that my other two friends make me laugh a lot in that class & we have the best times ever in there with amazing and hilarious memories lol. But today...I felt accomplished...MISSION SUCCESS on my shoe drawing!! for Art class lol I'm so happy about that because it turned out better than like everybody else's compared to theirs lol NO OFFENSE. I'm really competitive & I wanna try my best to exceed well...succeed then exceed :D lol. A lot of people complimented it so I'm proud of what I had done. Now....just the other Art class to put my skills into matter! Hwaiting! I'm not giving up whatsoever...I just need more time to work on the things that I wanna focus on & NEED to focus on...weekdays aren't much of help whatsoever. I'm inspired to do a lot of things dealing with art at the moment so yeah :). I DONT WANT SCHOOL TOMORROW lol even though I know we're gonna have school tomorrow =[ *sniff sniff* Glad I got my favorite teacher again for advocacy this time! :) But just as I expected...It's Thursday night & my eyes are feeling tired, exhausted, and it's aching and burning...and my eyelids wanna close...Glad tomorrow's Friday! Sheesh I need my beauty sleep!! :) I'm scared of breakouts & bags and dark circles around my eyes so yeaahh haha. But every week near the end of the week I get this like...flow of exhaustion around my eyes making me wanna sleep in...which sucks because I can't focus on Thursdays or Fridays at school much because of how tired I am. lol. But arrasoooo I'ma probably update tomorrow morning if I got the time :D Happy Snow Loves x]!! hahaha.
♥ My World My Life
6:38 PM
♥
Current Mood: Grumpy, Tired, half asleep!Okay so wth...didn't the news say & other people say that it was gonna be -2 degrees outside today?? If I remembered correctly, last night when I was working on my art project...The wind was really strong & even I heard it from inside the house really well. So wtf, I wake up this morning & checked the TV to see if we had school in session and it said School is IN SESSION T_T seriously? Dude...like I just imagine being held back at school after school or whenever for like 2 freakin extra hours just because the weather is sooo bad...like what if the school stopped functioning? Heaters broke & etc etc....? Sheesh I think they're trying to kill the students, b/c I was REALLY hoping for a day off! I could sure use it! I've been tired & stressed for like since Monday because my damn school won't give us a break & just assigned us a whole buncha projects, essays and homework to do on the first week =/ I'm in a really grumpy mood right now because it's 5:30AM in the morning hahahaa. Man...this day is GONNA suck....-__- Damn....No time to post my horoscope now...Gotta get ready, later!
♥ My World My Life
3:24 AM
♥ Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Current Mood: Half AsleepSo...Even though I'm still nervous and all for my classes...I realized that I won't be able to get anywhere if I keep feeling so nervous that it gets me stiff in class & hardly working hard unless I change that. It's always good to have fun in art and not think about what the outcome is gonna look like so much...but that's how I always am & I really can't help that...maybe that's why sometimes my artwork doesn't come out as good as other people's even though I know I can pretty much draw REALLY well & good. lol. So I guess I gotta try and have fun or I'll just go into that 'quiet, alone & independent' mode again...which usually helps because i'm hella tired..I'm like half asleep right now sheesh....this school -__- anyway...I gotta get ready for school now so yeah. Gawd today's not gonna look so great either knowing the mood I'm in right now...Ugh it's almost like a mixture of everything...2010 beginning = not so great for me (so far)...='[Updates later. (If I don't got too much work)
♥ My World My Life
3:25 AM
♥
Today's Daily Horoscope:
"The way the planetary patterns are focused today you may find that you are in an extreme relationship situation, Aries. If you are not currently attached to someone, there is a very strong pull in that direction, because you attention has definitely been grabbed. There is a sense of fun that surrounds this atmosphere, but that could also be a sign of passion. If you are in a relationship, this will be about a momentum developing within the relationship; possibly coinciding with good news regarding the career or status of either you or your partner."
-Ewww..I don't even wanna know what all that means...-__- this is a bad horoscope...& maybe after by saying that I might get the reverse effect lmao oh okay it's not funny so yeah I should stop jinxing myself now lol...=/ 0_0....
MY Love Horoscope:
"You are going to feel very alert and on your toes when it comes to romantic affairs, Aries. This is going to work very well for you, and though the pace may feel a little hectic to you, progress will be seen by the days end. If you are attached, you will be very eager when it comes to meeting your partner halfway. Conversations and exchanged information will work well for the both of you in terms of the bigger picture. Single? You may experience some nervousness today towards a certain romantic prospect, and this will lead to some aggravation. This is short lived, and the demands you are feeling will bring you clarity by the days end."
-Yeah...whatever I feel a bit of both lol...unfortunately -__-
Fortune cookie of the Day:
"You should be able to undertake and complete anything."
-Gee I hope that's true for today because I wasn't successful with that yesterday =[ =[ =[...
♥ My World My Life
3:21 AM
♥ Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Current Mood: Alone....Today isn't a good day at all...I did not like it whatsoever...it seems like I'm always whining & complaining about everything but life is not perfect as SOME people think...I wish I could just redo the parts where I have made the mistakes in my life...that way I could change the outcome of today...but then ...if that happened, today wouldn't be ...today...=/. I looked at the tarot cards, & some of it disappointed me...but some gave me a bit of encouragement rather than putting me down. It seems like I'm always getting nervous & intimidated to work on art when there are other people around...I guess it's because of the tension that causes me to think about competition so much that my mind messes me up from actually being inspired to work...='[ I feel so alone right now...no close friends with me at all...whatsoever...The ones I am close with...they're not always there for me when I need somebody so I gotta keep learning to stay stronger...Today, I already have plentyyyy to do...I think I'm gonna save the English stuff for later...& work on my drawing & clay...I don't know about my math homework..maybe tomorrow.. I don't feel like thinking about math...I just...wanna feel like lying down on my bed, close my eyes, and let my mind go blank for like another eternity =/ -_- ....But NO I gotta keep trying & not let these things bother me!!! I HAVE TO KEEP TRYING!!! I won't make it if i don't try & do my best!! GRRR >=[ The only thing on my mind is...I don't think the guy I like wants to come over & hang with me....:[ so I'm a bit sad about that....I really want him to come over & he said he wants to but I think he's intimidated by something...Idk...Bye loves...for now :/ (PS - the icon creeps me out once in awhile lol)
♥ My World My Life
1:33 PM
♥
Today's Daily Horoscope:
"You may be quite proud of something you've accomplished today, Aries, but the big question is whether or not you let it out for the whole world to hear. Today is a good day for you to keep secrets, you see, because the fiery energy that is connecting you to your friends is liable to set you on the course of revealing all sorts of things that you should be keeping quiet. You may want to demonstrate your abilities, because that is favored, but keep trade secrets or other people's business, as well as your own, to yourself."
-Wow today's horoscope seems pretty good :D I mean I had a long krappy, tiring & exhausting day full of too many depressing thoughts =/ 1. But I was quite proud of myself for finishing my math homework on time & doing my math bellwork lmao. That was the only thing though...Wish it had something to do with Art instead =[ 2. Lol yeah it pretty much is...I didn't feel like telling people secrets today at all, I was mainly kept to myself. 3. F*** YEAH I wanna demonstrate my abilities! I've been wanting to do that since yesterday =/ but no chances so far, I wanna keep pushing myself harder! & the last part is like a warning so I like that, and luckily I did! Man..I need to read these in the morning rofl so I know what to beware of during school!
MY love horoscope:
"You are feeling emotionally intense in this period, Aries, and this may affect your romantic affair. Whether you are single or attached, you are likely to react emotionally to almost anything right now. You are responding to life with passion and instinct, and are even feeling a little impulsive. This will affect your love life in the sense that you will feel high spirited and even passionate in many of your activities, and just about any activity is likely to turn into romance at this time. This period is one where anything that involves you emotionally is where you will be the happiest."
-OMG I agree with this love horoscope 300% lmao. Never has a love horoscope been THIS right about me! Gawd I sound like a damn freak but seriously....I AM feeling emotionally intense...I'm likely to react emotionally to almost anything at the moment! EXACTLY how I feel...gah! Soo true..you have no idea...
My Fortune Cookie of the Day:
"You are very expressive and positive in words, act and feeling. "
- Sure Am! I always am....Even inside my mind I am as well too...
♥ My World My Life
1:20 PM