I'm pretty easy to get along with just as long as you don't mess with me or start stuff,
I can be shy, I hardly ever talk unless you're one of my best/good friends, you talk to me first, or if i know you. I can't seem to make up my mind about being with somebody, I feel bad about it, but it's complicated right now to even tell wth my relationship status is right now =/.
I really don't like people who discriminate and tell me
and others what to do, I may not be perfect, but I sure know what's wrong and what's right. I'm a "nerd" in school, im pretty competitive also so watch out! lol.
People can say & see that im pretty pessimistic which is probably true, I'm also a stubborn girl, I usually go with my own 'instincts' rather than others, I go to only my
close friends for advice, they are the ones that give me the strength, courage and inspiration I need to go on :) I don't like people who talk to me when they don't like
me, so if you don't like me, better not talk to me for that matter. Don't try to destroy my pride&dignity because its always going to be there, I gain a lot of courage &
confidence through inspiration, faith, & believing in myself, & I will be expecting people to try & get in my way but their attempts won't work. I'm not a baby anymore, & I won't be used or tricked by people. I do not like it when
people assume every asian is Chinese, or eat dogs & cats for that matter. Don't jack/copy my style or anything that I do because its better for both sides when people are simple & stick with
their own things rather than copying me. Life can be & basically is complicated, & I have my own complications, I believe to go through the obstacles myself & learn from
my own lessons in order to improve, & this sometimes affects the way I act around the people who surround me, which is why I get misjudged easily & this is just to let you people know.
My personality can be weird, but who isn't? I'm a hard worker (sometimes an over-achiever T_T), I can be selfish & stubborn, but
I enjoy making & meeting new friends, I'm the most fobbiest asian girl you will ever meet!! I love listening to music, I love drawing, & my hands are cold all the time,
but I'm very warm-hearted<3 :) trust me. I'm VERY into my culture and asian culture, I get offended real easily if you talk about races and etc. If you ask
me for my opinion about things, I WILL be honest, I am a very honest person & can keep secrets. But other than those
things, enjoy my blog, get to know me, add me on facebook :) Thanks for reading this long ass paragraph about me, loves ;]
NOTE**: I DO NOT OWN THE ICONS THAT ARE ON EACH OF MY POSTS, THE ICONS ARE CREDITED TO THEIR RIGHTFUL OWNERS, THANK YOU [CREDITS TO: K-pop Icons]
♥ Wednesday, September 29, 2010
My Complicate Life ♥
"For me & only me"
Scholarships....gag...it's like trying to win the lottery. 'Cept you have to try and do it with extra hard work and you have to think >__< I haven't updated like I used to. Guess it's because I've been busy and there isn't much to update about, I don't wanna have to keep updating on useless stuff and I mostly just repeat myself half of the times lol.
I wanna bleach my hair this time, last time I only dyed it, and that was like 4-5 months ago, and now my roots are growing back in. I kinda want the redish brown color...or golden brown with a hint of auburn. Ehhh I'll just see what I can do. I just wouldn't know what to do if my roots grew back so fast lol. Which they already do T___T
Everything sucks right now, although today was a pretty good day overall. I was quite hyper and happy.
**sigh** I don't know if he's still interested in me or not. I guess we'll just see...I wanna go see a movie with him asap...My parents and schoolwork gets in the way though, movies usually don't take that long :/ I guess it'd be fine in 3 weeks. Er 2 my bad. lol. When I get that 4-day weekend again.
Well ...wish me luck?
♥ My WorldMy Life
4:48 PM
♥ Thursday, September 23, 2010
My Complicate Life ♥
"What does it mean to you?"
WELL. I know I haven't updated in awhile. Ehh I've been stressing out so much lately esp about college...it seems like I'm NOT gonna get anymore freedom than I am now (which is hardly any freedom at all) I feel like I'm gonna be studying constantly no time for romance, asian drama's, kpop, friends or any of that good stuff!!!!! GRAHHH!!!! UGHH!!! WHY?!?!?!
I think I'ma hate college :/
♥ My WorldMy Life
4:56 PM
♥ Friday, September 17, 2010
My Complicate Life ♥
"What I'm seeing right now is just an image of you holding in deep secrets"
So I was right. He was still into her...he still loves her. Isn't this supposed to be a good thing for me? I just feel like I'm the 'rebound' or whatever you freakin' call it. He obviously still couldn't get over her and leave her behind or just simply let it go because he still cares and loves her too much.
GOD DAMMIT.
I feel like a pathetic failure.
♥ My WorldMy Life
5:49 PM
♥ Thursday, September 16, 2010
My Complicate Life ♥
"My biggest weakness is not the biggest concern"
I should stop caring. Starting now, since my life is already trapped in it's own cage.
I wanna see the world but I'm afraid that that will not happen any longer. :/ If ...my parents had passed away...I don't know if I'd still be going towards the medical field honestly. I'm smart for it...but I don't know if I have a passion for it. The other thing...concerning my biggest weakness. I should just stop.
♥ My WorldMy Life
1:52 PM
♥ Wednesday, September 15, 2010
My Complicate Life ♥
"People are being blindly fooled"
Everyone thinks she's all good, nice, sweet, funny, loving, caring. She's just another fake image of me, basically. Playing with us fooling with us, the foul-bitch-play as I told my best friend yesterday. How can everyone fall for that shit? She's coming back to hurt me again and I'm the victim...I'm always the victim, then she makes everyone else think that she's the victim.
I wanna back hand her so bad.
♥ My WorldMy Life
3:54 AM
♥ Monday, September 13, 2010
My Complicate Life ♥
"Don't be sucha disgrace if you're 'going to be' a 'fan'..."
UGH this Crabapple chick...yes I'm calling her that from now on...don't ask why that name but ...it was the first thing that popped into my head. I don't wanna use her real initials just in case someone found about my real identity and blah blah blah. DRAMA. SHE DONT KNOW NOTHIN! She made fun of the real live action movie of Death Note and said that it probably sucks when she hasn't even watched it!!! She's so judgemental!!! Maybe that's why she doesn't like meh 0_0 I didn't do shit. Anyway. If you're gonna be a real kpop fan, anime fan, jrock fan etc etc. RESPECT THE CULTURE, RESPECT EVERYTHING ABOUT IT. Fugly bitch. :/ <-- SORRY. Excuse my language. That felt good though :/
Allow me to explain though...so that there are no misunderstandings because I'm a VERY nice and caring person in reality, it's just that I cannot stand for people who say or think they like this stuff when they talk about it. Jpop, Kpop, Jrock, anime, their live actions movies, and korean and japanese dramas ALL taught me about many things in life and have been around me since I was a little kid and it made me who I am today and I do NOT appreciate her saying shit like that on someone's wall on fuckin' facebook. I wanna shoot her. [I laughed when i said that :/] shameful.
ANYWAY. Asian culture has been revolved around me ever since I was a little kid and never have I left it. She should just go back to American stuff and her OWN culture.
NEVER should one judge without knowing a person first, or try to watch it first....badly worded...sorry, it just depends on what you're talking about xD
♥ My WorldMy Life
4:40 PM
♥ Friday, September 10, 2010
My Complicate Life ♥
"I will not win"
I'm staying strong, and I'll do the best I can to reach to the top and try to win, but it seems like I won't :/
I'm in class right now and everyone is already starting on their own experiments and collecting data and information while I'm here TRYING to read stuff that I need to be reading right now -___- Don't judge me, everyone procrastinates. Then I'm also pressured and stressed out by the whole scholarship competition and stuff. I just ....wanna prove to my parents that I'm good...I need this for my freedom, I need to set this whole thing straight.
♥ My WorldMy Life
11:46 AM
♥ Thursday, September 9, 2010
My Complicate Life ♥
"It hit me like a strong wind"
I hate how I don't update for like 3 days in a row and then when this one certain day comes, I update twice in one day :/
ANYWAY. I'm not gonna give up now....for some reason...there's this feeling inside of me...this strength and spirit that is pushing me and telling me not to give up because I start feeling all depressed, sad, and wanna give up, ...but whatever it is...it doesn't want me to back down or give up.
Keep going....keep pushing...
♥ My WorldMy Life
3:21 PM
♥
My Complicate Life ♥
"If I shed tears, these tears better bring me a big success"
I am so done with all of this BS. I knew everything is always too good to be true when it comes to me. I try not to give a fuck about those around me and just focus on what I do best, but all of this is coming down and it's trying to beat me down one by one...TOO much competition and YET "my mentor" is helping out other people and helping them as well. Why can't I find just ONE person who will be able to help me? JUST ME? If I had that person, I would TRULY have the inspiration and the motivation to be working my best and doing all that I can to make it into Med School. I just wanna find somebody that will ONLY be helping me throughout my life so that I can get into medical school! Just that one person, I'd be willing to sacrifice the time I hang with my friends, even if I don't find that person, ...I wanna at least win the project's fair and get scholarships over 1000 dollars!!! I'm not gonna let this go to waste...I'll do the best that I can...although I don't know what this feeling inside of me is....It just seems like this is not what I want...either i'm dissatisfied with how I feel at the moment...or just not satisfied with where all of this is going right now.
BASICALLY I JUST FEEL LIKE A FAILURE, A LOSER, WHO'S LOST ALL MOTIVATION and just left in the middle of nowhere with no way to get back home. :/
Everything is too good to be true...remember when I said I might've hit the jackpot? HA. Now they've just become apart of the world's lies.
Somebody help me and save me....
♥ My WorldMy Life
1:57 PM
♥ Wednesday, September 8, 2010
My Complicate Life ♥
"Show some attitude"
OKAY. Sooo....why the PHO am I still awake when I told ppl I was gonna be going to bed? WHATEVER. I'm tired of school omg...Idk how much longer I can keep this up....
How much longer will I be able to 'say humph' with attitude and love it like I used to?!
♥ My WorldMy Life
7:13 PM
♥ Tuesday, September 7, 2010
My Complicate Life ♥
"I need it more than anyone"
I feel that I really need this more than anyone right now, NO ONE understands how much I need this opportunity in front of me. The thing is..am I destined? The only way to find out is if I actually make it :/ I have what it takes...I have the love, compassion, understanding, I love meeting new people, I like getting along with others, I work well with others. I have ALOT of expectations surrounding me, people who are expecting a lot from me right now, and people who doubt me, so I need to make it and have it in order to prove them wrong and show them what I am capable of.
...But in this case...it means I have to make a lot of sacrifices that I don't wanna make but will have to....leave all the friends I have now behind, leave all the talent and things I love behind...it's just so sad. I don't want to but I feel that it's necessary, after going on the tour and appointment I realized I will have so much to do it will be CRAZY.
♥ My WorldMy Life
12:32 PM
♥ Monday, September 6, 2010
My Complicate Life ♥
"Feeling lazy & stupid"
There's more to it than that. I just don't wanna waste my time talking about my feelings right now, I think I'm gonna go watch some asian horror in a second.
♥ My WorldMy Life
5:13 PM
♥ Thursday, September 2, 2010
My Complicate Life ♥
"Lies."
Well. I wanna cry now. I just don't know what to do. It doesn't feel like anything's changed. Everything seems forced, why am I so worried anyway. Whatever, I know I shouldn't care because we're better off as being friends anyway. SO WHY OH WHY DOES IT BOTHER ME SO MUCHHHHH!!!!
♥ My WorldMy Life
2:05 PM
♥ Wednesday, September 1, 2010
My Complicate Life ♥
"Surpass the bad & evil, and you will be successful"
Fear her? Afraid not. For I only fear the obstacle and the mission and assigment that will be given to me only. I care a lot less about the others, while I know and should believe in myself for doing this and not caring about how good or bad others are & should strive for my best. I want this so bad, I want this to earn respect. I've lost so much respect, but it wasn't all my fault. :/ I have to do this no matter what. Be there or be square lmao. Ew I hate that saying. Anything with 'square' in it just makes it sound cheesy. Anyway....I can't back down now, too late to turn back, plus I got my parents who expect ALOT from me.