Designer: Agnes
Base Code: Tammy
Image: Enakei
Image Host: Tinypic & Photobucket
NOTE**: I DO NOT OWN THE ICONS THAT ARE ON EACH OF MY POSTS, THE ICONS ARE CREDITED TO THEIR RIGHTFUL OWNERS, THANK YOU [CREDITS TO: K-pop Icons]
♥ Monday, May 31, 2010
"A New Galaxy but back to the olden days"
WATCHING HANASAKERU SEISHOUNEN!!! IM ADDICTED!!! AND ALSO ADDICTED TO SUPER MARIO GALAXY 2!!! LMAO!!!! MAN IT FEELS SO NICE TO DO WHAT I USED TO ALWAYS DO BACK IN MIDDLE SCHOOL! I MISS IT ALL SO DAMN MUCH. I REALIZE THAT BEING SINGLE FOR THE WHILE IS THE BEST EVERRRRR!!!!I still miss the 2 though.... =/ For not being able to talk to them, it just feels like there's this temporary barrier between me and the 2 of them....One that will have to break on it's own or on their own will. BLEH. GAY.
♥ My World My Life
8:55 PM
♥ Sunday, May 30, 2010
"When am I gonna enjoy this requisite intoxication?"
So I went to the eye doctor yesterday, my eyesight got a TINY bit worse but my dad doesn't want me to buy new glasses, just to get the lens switched out, that's all. The doctor also gave us sad news about how she thinks my little brother needs to start wearing glasses all the time now :( ....he's only 9 ....and he already has to start wearing glasses? Boo....He has estigmatism worse than I do =/ But I don't think my dad's gonna let that happen. Which is BAD. Well, bad either way. Afterwards we went to Best Buy, got another nunchuk and wii remote so that I can play with my lil bro, along with some new games, 2 for playstation 2 and one for the wii. I'm really starting to feel scared even though I don't think I should because all it will do is put more stress in my life when I don't want that and yeaaah. I'm having health issues again.... bleh...I hope it's just something normal that my body does 0_0 I just want it over with soon so that I don't have to face it during summer school or during my trip to Texas. We also went to go see The Prince of Persia yesterday and that movie was hella good! Better than I had expected it to be. I also really liked the theme song they played at the end for the credits too. I'd have to say the Middle Eastern and Asia are the best xD I just hope this all blows over soon....I want him to stop getting mad at me...
♥ My World My Life
9:30 AM
♥ Saturday, May 29, 2010
Lying that you love me, lying that you miss me
Lying that you are coming back, all that you say are lies
Lying that you will watch out for me, lying that you cant live without me,
Why did you promise all these things if you were going to leave like this.
It has to be you, no, no, it can only be you.
Why do you push me away, why do you try to put my hand down.
How did this happen, how did it become like this.
I shouldn’t do this, I know, but I just can’t let you go.
Lying that you love me, lying that you miss me
Lying that you are coming back, all that you say are lies
Lying that you will watch out for me, lying that you cant live without me,
Why did you promise all these things if you were going to leave like this.
Even though I wish for this to be a dream, it’s no use.
(*Literally it means ‘Even though I wish for this to be a lie)
What should I do, what should I do when you leave.
Was it like this to begin with, cold-blooded love
(*Literally “love that leaves coldly”)
You are so bad, you are such a bad person,
Making me cry like this.
Lying that you love me, lying that you miss me
Lying that you are coming back, all that you say are lies
Lying that you will watch out for me, lying that you cant live without me,
Why did you promise all these things if you were going to leave like this.
Lying to me to leave, lying to me to not look back,
Lying to me to never look for you again, all of them are lies
Lying to me to forget you, lying to me we are all over.
No matter how many times I think it through, I cannot live without you, please come back.
I I I I feel like dying, I can’t do anything without you.
I I I I just keep crying, the word “goodbye” doesn’t come into my head
(*Literally “I cannot admit myself to say good bye”)
Again, my heart aches, I think I’m gonna go crazy.
Please come back, come back to me.
-T-Ara ♥
♥ My World My Life
6:34 PM
♥
"I just...can't look at you..."
Sooo....the guy I like is gone for the weekend in Texas...and the other guy I supposedly "love" =/ He told me not to talk to him for awhile since he found out yesterday that I was gonna hang out with his ex later on in the night at the artshow 0_0 HEY HEY I'm just trying to be nice and get along with everybody ok?! Why can't he understand that, I know that he's very against it ....but bleh....Whatever, some kind of lover he is!!! -____- Yesterday I had to end up going to the doctors before going to the artshow because I'm having this weird kind of sickness that I had back when I was little and I guess it came back?? Ugh. I hope it goes away soon, I just ....want this misery to stop lol. I'm hoping to go see Splice after the ACT, well that's what I thought after I woke up today anyway. Well, I have good news lmao, the girl that he's been talking to a lot and flirting with or wth ever is leaving at 10 am this morning LOL in 5 mins!!! (YES!!!) hahahahahha...I mean...nooo awwhhh you poor thing :( booo. xD Well...who am I kidding anyway, if he wanted to he could go out of state on a road trip or whatever to go see her and what not. Forget it this relationship isn't going anywhere, we're not in a relationship anyway so I should learn to stop caring so much. Even though I'm not but yeah. It's all good I suppose. If he wants to talk to me again he can just text me, or text her for the love of life. =/I hate fuckin' pretty bitches that get all of the attention T___T
♥ My World My Life
7:57 AM
♥ Friday, May 28, 2010
"I just wanna be in my own world"
I'm just so god damn sick and tired of this world. It just sucks. Why do we all have to worry so much in a short amount of lifetime in our lives? Why must we waste our time on things that don't even matter, when the only thing that matters is living a happy life and enjoying life with the people that matter to you most. Why must we be pressured to do so many things that we don't wanna do? I don't wanna study for the ACT, life is just a mess itself, when am I able to free my wings, spread them, and fly off into a world of eternal bliss and happiness??? Into a world where nothing else matters but your happiness and satisfaction....Where your dreams come true, where there is no drama, just eternal happiness, living your life with the one you live....Where you live a life with NO WORRIES, no stress, and just live a happy and beautiful life!!! Obviously this world, isn't that kind of world I just wanna find that world....College is a bitch, it sounds like it. A world where you can get whatever you want....
♥ My World My Life
9:27 AM
♥ Thursday, May 27, 2010
"The Smell of Summer"
So it's officially summer, and I'm bored outta my mind. Gotta go do stuff with peeps!!! If only my parents weren't so strict. I'm hoping to go to Final Friday with my peeps tomorrow. So anyway the reason I probably and most likely forgot to update was because 1. Idk wth happened to my google tabs!!!! 2. I was exhausted, and I was watching Ninja Assassin last night lol then I watched ADDICTED on the health channel hahahahaha. Nerd.
♥ My World My Life
12:04 PM
♥ Tuesday, May 25, 2010
"Let's make every 'shot' a precious memory"
Realizing...after graduation and the speech my friend made...bleh..things WILL change...=/ The person I love now may not be the one I love later on in life and end up with in life...I fear that the most... =/ I can say that ...I love him and imagine spending every moment with him.....but...lets just say that he's like the "Sad, dramatic, romantic,tragic" part among my lovelife....as for the other guy I like...he's like the "Happy, humorous, fun, happy-ending" type in my love life that i also need 0_0 I swear I think I had a deja-vu about typing all of this out .....anyway...tomorrows the last day...
♥ My World My Life
7:46 PM
♥
"I'm proud to say that sometimes, I hate people so much"
You just don't know how cruel this world is if you disagree with me. Your friends may be your friends now but they're capable of backstabbing you the next day. Going to graduation tonight, will probably run into a lot of people I hate!!! But all of that doesn't matter. I'm just there to support those graduating.
♥ My World My Life
3:03 PM
♥ Monday, May 24, 2010
"Let's hope and pray together"
I really hope my best friend finds his camera soon..poor guy...he's been depressed ever since he lost it....I'm doing the best I can to support him and try to do all I can to help him find it. I'm his partner in crime, there's no backing down. He's really disappointed with the school though since they're really not doing anything. Wtf. It's up to us really....What am I to do. I just hope he cheers up. I'm going to the senior graduation tomorrow night! I feel accomplished!! I finished my hallway drawing and I'm working on my final assignment in art at the moment, and I got my english final over with today, now just the math final to get over with. 1 and a half more days!!!! YAY SUMMERRRR!!!Let's be positive, hope and pray together x]
♥ My World My Life
3:19 PM
♥ Sunday, May 23, 2010
"Yeah, you know, I'm just totally too kool for you and all this krap"
Trust me, I wouldn't say that in person. xD I honestly don't care about the ACT anymore, even though I should care because I could get scholarships and what not, I know I'm probably gonna really dislike going to WSU but at least I'd be in college. I just want a new beginning, I don't know where to go with my life anymore, it's just plain boring and confusing. I've screwed up so much as to let "LOVE" get in the way of everything, now things are just kinda going a bit haywire and I only got one more year left of high school, so I just might as well get things together and start doing what I need to do. Yeah right, easier said than done =/ I don't even know where to freakin' start. BLEH. I know I can't give up now and I don't wanna wait any longer, if only this would all be ...simplified for me so that I wouldn't have to deal with so much shit. I know that when I say these things I might jinx myself so bad that I might as well regret everthing I've done and gone through and just live a poor life out of the country and live in a small town, selling things and working on a farm and shit. 0_0 NAH. I don't wanna do that. But seriously, it's like near summer and I'm working my ass off on the english final which is due tomorrow and I'm only 40% done T______T and then next week I'm starting summer school, and two weeks afterwards I'm taking the DAMN EFFIN ACT AGAIN for crying out loud and I just want a GOOD score so that my parents will get offa my back about things and just move on with life already. GAWD I'm so freakin' annoyed right now that I could just nearly take out a gun and shoot myself in the mouth.
♥ My World My Life
10:03 AM
♥ Saturday, May 22, 2010
"WTF?"
UGH CURSE LAST NIGHT AND THIS ENGLISH FINAL!!!!
♥ My World My Life
11:58 AM
♥ Friday, May 21, 2010
"Maybe you're the reason we're falling apart"
So I really miss typing out and expressing all of my feelings in my blog...I haven't been able to do it nowadays because I've been so god damn busy with schoolwork and stuff...Luckily today is Friday but I don't get any break either!!!! Freakin' English final! Ugh. & I ended up getting a C+ on my King Lear test wth. BUT HEY at least I got a perfect score on my Calc. QUIZ!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA. FOR ONCE YES! I was happy hahaha. 'Cept my friend was still being a douchebag. But mannnnn, I cannot wait to graduate and leave that damn school behind to meet newer people and hopefully find the true love of my life =/ I don't feel like he's the one since I keep getting the feeling that he keeps messing around with too many girls and flirting with them and probably gonna be meeting up with them over the summer...and uhhh for the rest of my high school experience and etc!!! Speakin' of high school, I just now realized how many high school sluts there were, even though my school doesn't seem like the typical drama, super bad high schools you see in movies and TV and krap but beneath all the fake faces and quietness, we are like that. Not me though, Well, I guess I have other stuff to deal with that's somewhat related to that stuff but I'm not in a buttload mess, even so, I cannot really avoid it either since I'm in this school with all those stupid people. So many high school sluts I swear....sleeping around with other guys, trying to get another girl's guy, them bitches need to rot, burn and die in hell for the sake of the entire world. Either that or suffer from HIV or AIDS. I'm fine with either. As long as they star far away from me and don't mess with me or my future man or anything, I'm all good. Too bad I don't have a family member who can back me up =/ maybe my sister but she doesn't live with me ....I cannot tell my parents any of this shit, I will be trapped in this house for life. I'm hoping to go to Final Friday next friday....Eh I just gotta feeling that even though he says he's not gonna date, and that I'm his last love that he wants to be with forever...I still think he's gonna end up falling for some other girl sooner or later...OK maybe I shouldn't say that because I don't wanna jinx myself but who am I kidding? I wish I didn't have to take the english final, why the hell did I get an A- MAN WTF. I just hope my math grade goes up, it'd be for the best. I just wish I got an A in that class ugh. TIRED OF THIS MESS. AND DAMN I gotta take the ACT again too! I fuckin' HATE the ACT so freakin' much it's not even funny, I just wanna get it over with. =/ Bleh forget the iPod touch (ehhhh -____-) I'm not gonna get it, I'm not gonna get a higher score than 21 =/ SCREW IT UGH. *shoots self in mouth* T__T
♥ My World My Life
2:31 PM
♥ Thursday, May 20, 2010
Graceful Beauty Ep. 1-An original asian drama written by ME-
She sat in the dark room, with the moon glowing through the window, not being able to hold back the treacherous tears. The pain hurt, she was wounded. It was already past midnight, yet she continued to wait.
Where are you, my love? I kept thinking over and over in my head, or maybe I was just a damn fool to wait on him for hours and sit here with all of these wasteful tears falling down from my eyes, dampening my velvet laced skirt. I feel so pathetic and hopeless, who am I kidding? He LIED to me, I know that he's hiding some things from me and I need to know the truth before I literally go crazy. I called him 3 hours ago, and he told me he was at home, and told me that I should just rest for tonight and meet up with him tomorrow at his place, but something told me that there was something wrong. I came here all on myself, and found him nowhere to be in sight at this time inside his own home. He lied. I feel betrayed. He said he loves me, but is it really true? I don't know anymore. Then, while I looked like a mess in distress, I heard the door open. It must be him. I quickly wiped the tears from my eyes, fixed my hair, what is the point? My makeup is smeared everywhere all over my face why does it matter? I walked out into the hall, and to the living room. He closed the door and turned to see where she was standing right in front of him.
What are you doing here? he asked. He came over slowly and reached for her hands and held them close to his chest and brought it up to his face. She looked at him in a quick glance. He asks, Why were you crying? She denies it.
Just answer me. She says. Whether or not you really love me, you need to tell me now, you can't be going out and meeting up with other women when you told me yourself that I was the only one you care about, I am SICK AND TIRED of being lied to constantly...I just don't know if I can trust you anymore, I gave you my everything, and now my heart is torn and shredded into a million pieces. Don't be trying to deny all of these things, I saw you with another woman, hand in hand, laughing, hugging, kissing, happily being together. Who and what am I to you now? Nothing right? You can forget the fact that we even shared anything with each other! She takes the ring off of her finger and throws it at it, it falls to the floor, making a sound that she will never forget. Tears now fall down her face, she starts bawling and slaps him across the face, and says I NEVER WANNA SEE YOU AGAIN! and runs out the door and slams the door behind her.
She continues to run down the street, until it started pouring rain.
♥ My World My Life
5:57 PM
♥
"Just makin' a fool outta myself"
Who am I kidding?
♥ My World My Life
4:46 PM
♥ Wednesday, May 19, 2010
"This reeks"
So, should I be glad and relieved that my insomnia is slowly going away because I can finally have SOME naps now? Or should I be worried since I cannot keep awake like I used to in order to do my schoolwork and focus on it since I only got 5 more days till school is out and I need to focus on reading my novel for the final? BLEH.
♥ My World My Life
4:19 PM
♥ Tuesday, May 18, 2010
"You're jealous because I'm pretty asian & awesome"
Awwww I LOVE MY GUY BUDDIES SO MUCH! My girl buddies...HA I don't have that much but there are a few that are pretty kool! Bleh overall other than hardly finishing my novel at all WHATSOEVER since I cannot get into it!!! I didn't read it at all, but overall HAD AN AWESOME DAY! Hope tomorrow goes well too! AH! MY FRIENDS ARE GREAT <3
♥ My World My Life
7:51 PM
♥ Monday, May 17, 2010
"School WEARS me out!!!"
Bleh I'm EXTREMELY tired of school, I'm just ready to get the ACT and summer school and the volunteering thing over with, cept that wouldn't be so bad but yeah :) GOTTA watch out for jealous bitches nowadays because they be crazy! I'm done with school and relationships.
♥ My World My Life
2:31 PM
♥ Sunday, May 16, 2010
"You're not here at the times when I need you & want you here with me the most"
Blehhh, back to school again tomorrow =/ Need to finish that drawing soon. Starting to slack off ever since he started....yeah okay I'm not gonna bring it up anymore because every time I do...it just really upsets me. STOP IT!! I NEED to STOP focusing on all of this lovey dovey shit right now, I just need to STOP so that I wouldn't have to go through this god damn pain again over and over. My heart just can't stop ...achingggg. AGH. I can't really say it though, can't show it either! I'm banning myself from doing those things. Are you just full of lies?Or...are you actually apart of my memories, life and moments?"If I could flutter like a birdI would fly to youAnd offer my wingTo your wounded back"
You just wanna put me through this pain so that I will be "stronger", or is it so that it'll hurt me so bad that you're willing to have me forget about you? Putting me through this pain...because you won't be in as much pain as I would? Selfishness? I know that it's not me that you will want later on, you'll realize that. As much as I love and adore you....I can't do anything about it. I hate this. I hate the fact that I'm truly affected by it a lot.
♥ My World My Life
7:29 PM
♥ Saturday, May 15, 2010
"If we had a fight, I'd kill you with NO regrets."
I just can't freakin' stand the fact that people can't mind their own business mostly in high school. Stop spreading shit about me, and who are you to judge me if you never got the time to get to know me? If I was to make out or go out with anybody that's none of your business and you have no right to say shit about it because it's MY life and MY decision, obviously you have no life if you like spreading around people's shit so much, maybe you should get a job for it since you people think you're such pros! Oh btw, I just got something really important to say to a special someone real quick:
Dear Blonde Douchebag,First time I met you, you were really nice and shit but I seriously didn't know that underneath all of that humor and fakeass personality and face of yours, there was a devil with whom you hid yourself from those who still "love, adore, admire, like" you or wtf ever. You seriously need to get a life and stop chasing after little kids you dirty ass pedofile!! You've hurt me and done so much shit to me in the past behind my back that I did not know, until I was actually facing the REAL you who actually DID hurt me and with me knowing about it too! I realized you are just full of SHIT. You're honestly the WORST guy I have ever met in my entire life, and I regret every little single moment of spending time with you and sharing those memories that WERE NOT supposed to be there, you are honestly WORST than all of my ex's added all together! You're a good for nothing low-life who just can't seem to understand anyone around you and you're always so god damn selfish because all you care about is yourself, THANKS alot for ruining nearly more than half of my high school time and experience AND also for stealing my heart at one point and then crushing it by throwing it in the air back at me and piercing it with every broken shard and devoured its condition, bleeding constantly with full of pain and scars that will be there FOREVER. I just hope that you get something in return one day, because in that one day, I WILL be happy more than ever, and I promise that one day in my life, once I find you, I WILL get my revenge! I wouldn't even care if you got ran over by a semi or get killed by some kind of accident, and if we got into a fight, I'd kill you within an instant and not even regret it! I'd actually throw a party if you got ran over or something! I know I may sound like a BITCH but at least I'm not a low-life douchebag like you who nearly went out with 10000000 girls and BROKE every one of their god damn hearts, and talk shit about people behind their back constantly! I hope your life gets worse with every moment that I have to suffer in my entire life!
-Sincerely, The one you nearly killed.
♥ My World My Life
11:51 AM
♥ Friday, May 14, 2010
"SURPRISE! I Heart Chu~♥"
HONESTLY. I'm having one of the best times of my life in like....forever!! FOR YEARS ACTUALLY. I've gone through so much pain and now that I'm single I'm just MESSING around with so many people and having so much god damn fun!! GRRRR SO SEXAYYY.
♥ My World My Life
7:11 PM
♥ Thursday, May 13, 2010
"TAKE A GOD DAMN GUN AND SHOOT ME NOW"
Other than what happened exactly a year ago to me that left me in constant pain and tears for months and still being haunted by it....I've yet made another big ass stupid fuckin' god damn mistake and fucked up just as worse as the first time. I can't face him or anyone anymore, I just feel so fuckin' insane right now....how the hell...I might as well just go crazy and then have somebody shoot me in the head.
♥ My World My Life
8:09 PM
♥
"Didn't think you'd put me through this kind of pain..."
Blehh just got back from Project's Fair =/ I got 3rd place -____- I mean at least I got something, but still. 1st and 2nd deserved their places but no offense but Best of Show was was not really there =/ I think the whole thing should just be moved one step higher, 1st to best of show, 2nd to 1st, and 3rd to 2nd, then best of show to 3rd =/ that's how I see it. But I guess the judges were an Andy Warhol fan or something....BLEH WHATEVS. ANYWAY IM SICK AND TIRED OF THIS KRAP I HATE HAVING THESE FEELINGS FOR HIM WHEN THEY SHOULD JUST VANISH. UGH. I AM SO FREAKIN TIRED OF YOU! EVERYBODY.
♥ My World My Life
5:59 PM
♥ Wednesday, May 12, 2010
MY STOMACH HURTS LIKE A BITCH!! AGH!
& IT'S STORMING OUTSIDE LIKE CRAZY!!!
>=[ & I STILL CAN'T GET OVER IT!
♥ My World My Life
7:15 PM
♥
"Jackass."
THANKS FOR HURTING ME. WHEN YOU SAID YOU WANTED TO DATE AND MESS AROUND I SURE AS HELL DIDN'T THINK YOU'D CHOOSE A DUMBASS GHETTO-WANNABE WHITE GIRL IN MY GRADE TO FLIRT WITH AND CHASE AFTER. YOU SON OF A BITCH. UGH.
AND FREAKIN' TORNADO WARNING AGAIN -__-READY TO FAIL THE TEST TOMORROW IN CALC!
♥ My World My Life
3:14 PM
♥ Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Okay so first of all I wanna remind you all that since I HATE racism,
I don't have the right to be racist myself, but man....
when you see over a million videos of white girls TRYING to dance or think they can dance....
it makes me just wanna conclude that white girls shouldn't dance and should just stick to shopping at A&F, Hollister, tanning at a tanning salon or whatever white girls do best T__T I mean seriously?
Bleh some of them even post up videos of them wearing EXTREMELY revealing clothes,
what are you trying to do and what are you thinking? Even little girls are doing it now too. Agh the true life of America.
I mean look at this disgrace!!!
Damn right, they dont' even deserve a BORDER for their video lmao. See that kinda shit? UGH makes me wanna gag so bad. Like wtf, there are probably hundreds of dudes who have no lives and are like 40 years old and shit that might be jackin' off to those kinds of vids, is that whatchu want?!?! DISGUSTING.
ON THE OTHER HAND. If you can dance like THIS. Then I won't say anything nor will anybody else!!!
♥ My World My Life
7:05 PM
♥
"The cracks & gaps between our connection and special bond"
I wish we were still together...I want your love...I want you to stay by my side and never leave....I don't want you to go around messing with any other girl because I just want you all to myself because I really do love you....I don't wanna have to wait for this any longer....I cannot say these words because I will sound like a fool. I don't want you to know =/ I wanna say those words so bad and I'm trying so god damn hard to hide my feelings...but I can't do it. I just must be really stupid if you're okay with everything and I'm not. Omg, I just want someone to end this pain right now, I have gone through it so much I don't wanna have to deal with it again. Gawd fuck. Urgh. Why must I be so easily used? I always give my heart and feelings out to everyone....I just feel like putting the gun in my mouth and pull the trigger.
♥ My World My Life
5:37 PM
♥
"Me & you could write a sad love story..."
This is where our sad love story comes to it's climax....I really do like you I.E.K♥ I wanna be with you again one day...I'm so glad I didn't get too attached...:( I'm still missing you...you just feel so distant and far away from my reach right now. It's gonna be that way for awhile.
♥ My World My Life
3:51 AM
♥ Monday, May 10, 2010
"Our relationship can only come close to this far..."
Okay what's already ridiculous is that, our relationship is going NOWHERE, and with him still talking to other prettier white girls, the stupid skank isn't makin' it any better by standing there and talking to him constantly. If you're trying to fuck with someone's relationship go somewhere else, I hope you get raped by an 18" dick you freakin' skank. I swear, the only thing more scarier than serial rapists and killers are probably girls themselves. Once they get jealous or wtf ever, they go all at it like a psycho obsessed freako-maniac!!! Also I wanna point out something else... the bad thing is that, if guys touch me or do something, I usually don't notice it cause I never pay attention. Which is why i'm always accused of trying to intentionally have the guys touch me on purpose. Basically, I'm always accused of everything -__- mostly, the shit I didn't even do. That's how fucked up this world and the people in it are sometimes. Anyway, I seriously hate it when people try to be overachievers, or people who get into other people's businesses god damn just stay outta it peeps! It's not that hard, you're just doing that because you obviously have NO life whatsoever if you're so interested in messing with other people's lives and hearing about them if you don't got yours to worry about already. Sheesh.!!! I swear! If it's not one thing today it's another thing the next... -___- Annoys the livin' hell outta me! I know I'm not perfect, but at least I know how to get a grip on reality!!
♥ My World My Life
2:29 PM
♥ Sunday, May 9, 2010
"No one wants to deal with your bullshit, so grow up"
BLEH. I AM SO TIRED OF PPL BEING SO GOD FREAKIN IMMATURE. >=[ Esp that stupid ass that used to be my best friend. He's pretty much getting on my last nerves, just for acting the way how he is right now. Yeah you think you the shit right? ahahahaha riiiiight. There is probably about 6 people who get on my NERVES the MOST at my school, can't wait to graduate, if only I wasn't forced to go to WSU so that I don't have to see those people's faces anymore and just start over and see and meet new people for once. I don't want any of this high school nonsense, love doesn't exist in high school sweetie, nor do friends stick together because ya'll will be separated after you go to college. High school is just a big mess in your life that you have to go through, everything in high school are just all lies, it's just the worse experience you could ever have....well not really lol. But OMG this is soooo weird lmao, I'm watching The Woman with 15 Different Personalities right now...it's sooo weird...o_0 ehhh not so into this stuff, it's just more of like...for something to watch and for entertainment. Sounds bad but yeah lol. So I've decided not to trust him anymore, he can't be trusted lol. There's more to it than just that but no time to explain.
PS - I wish Death Note was real. BUT with it being in MY hands.
♥ My World My Life
11:56 AM
♥ Saturday, May 8, 2010
I realized how much of a bitch I am sometimes.I mean I guess it's probably because I lose a lot of sleep ALL the damn time,and then mostly because I'm just plain stupid,basically learning my lesson THE HARD way -__-it freakin' pisses me off.Wth am I supposed to do now...damn wish I could just go back being single now,but I guess it's too late for that shit,I NEED TO STOP FUCKIN DATIN' WHITE GUYS,Ugh, I just never get respect from them,they always find other prettier (white) girls, then leave the minorities behind wtf.Way to make us girls feel good.Esp me, thanks for making my low self-esteem LOWER douchebag.Thanks for always liking another girl's pic and shit and commenting on their shit when you're not even with them. UGH SO GOD DAMN MAD RITE NOW.I understand I may not be there for you 24/7 or whatever the hell you want,but shit,when you're with me, I won't get taken advantage of.I don't give a shit if you're a guy or my boyfriend or husband or FATHER,I will NOT let you walk all over me and ruin my pride and image.FUCKFACE.
-excuse my bitchy moment. :)
♥ My World My Life
10:21 PM
♥
"Enjoy the beautiful life while you still got the chance"
So this weekend seems to be starting off good so far, other than the fact that I haven't been able to get into my novel that much that I'm supposed to read since I'm so exhausted and just wanting to go to sleep every now and then. Shopped for a ton of clothes today! Quite satisfied with all the clothes and new shoes and accessories I got :D My dad and I were talking about him buying a new car for me at the end of the year :) I'm thinking of either the Nissan Sentra, or the Suzuki Kizashi but I'm not so sure yet!! x] Asian pride hahah I know. Because of my fuckin' low ACT score my dad refused to get me the iPod touch :( fudge. DAMN ACT and ergh. My parents sure are the best :) They're even thinkin' about gettin me a really nice dress for prom next year too hahaha. I am definitely not gonna run into the same person with the same dress as me!!! lol. Soooo now all I need to complete everything is: a new car for myself, iPod touch, new cell, newer fashionable clothes from Japan, Korea, Hong Kong etc, Kpop collection, the most amazing prom dress for next year, learn the dance moves for next year's multi cultural fair, get the black leather korean scarf and jacket and possibly pants, WITH NEW HEELS and an awesome hairtie, I MAY dye my hair again by the end of this year, grow my hair out long, get taller!! buy more anklets, get the phantom of the opera masks for my "crew", new boots for upcoming winter...HAHA IM SO SPOILED =P ....speakers for my laptop xD hmmm....Anything else i'll type it up LATER!! haha. Good day today :) & Missing him!
PS - Might I say again that MY PARENTS ARE AWESOME LOL! & I'm hoping for mother's day tomorrow that we won't have to eat at the same buffet again -___-....eghh...if we do, my weight will be in jeopardy :( My parents definitely are buying me a prom dress out of state! YES. It'll be the best dress out of all next year hopefully :)Anyway, I'm really lovin' to blog nowadays it's really fun, and I'm thinking of whether or not I should write a novel, I was thinkin of one about a guy getting a girl pregnant and having to be with the girl and take care of his child while he cares and loves another girl -___- (messed up haha) but it'd be fun to write though, and then...another one I thought would possibly be about ....omg believe it or not but I FORGOT!!! UGH! I knew it was another love story...but I effin' forgot. Also, this one black dude tried to hit on me today at Best Buy and I was tryin to play it all kool in person, but in my head I was like "wtf...I gotta get outta here asap!" I was scared to be honest because I did not want him to come up to me and touch me and talk to me and flirt and all that shit...bleh.
♥ My World My Life
7:40 PM
♥ Friday, May 7, 2010
"My life is A-ha, a-ha, a-haa~"
BE AMAZED. BE PREPARED. I AM GONNA EXERCISE LOL.
♥ My World My Life
5:34 PM
♥ Thursday, May 6, 2010
"Too much fun can get you carried away"
SO. 2 issues today. 1, I don't think his ex likes me anymore probably for catching me kissin him and shit. 2, I was a bad girl today and decided to go home with my best friend, well he took me home, we decided to blast music in the car and sing like idiots, drove to the mall parking lot, recorded a video of us singing, then went to the mall and looked around!! BUT THEN, even though I knew somethin was gonna happen, it happened, you know...yeah...my parents are totally kool with my best friend takin' me home and stuff since they know him personally, then she WAS on the driveway 0_0....So now....I have to explain to my dad what was going on. I don't know what I should really say, I guess i'll just go with....the stuff that's in my head lol...WHATEVER COMES UP. >.< Great. GROUNDED FO SHO. lol. Maybe. I have to be a good girl and read today. so yeah.
♥ My World My Life
2:15 PM
♥ Wednesday, May 5, 2010
"I just need all the time I can get for myself"
DAMN. I missed my chance of seeing him outside of class today! BLEH. I forgot it was Wednesday and then I volunteered to be apart of one of the characters for King Lear in English class. AND OMG the AP Exam KILLED ME by FRYING MY BRAINS TODAY. Did not do all the work, guessed on shit, skipped the ones I couldn't do. It was TERRIBLE. My best friend and I were like "WHEN THE FUCK DID WE LEARN THIS?!" and they asked us weird questions with like....no other information. Then lmao...I turned "justify your answer" into a paragraph long explaination rather than showing the work using Calculus. How the hell am I supposed to justify to a simple question using calculus? I mean come on, now it's just funny how my best friend and I keep laughing since I turned a Calculus AP EXAM into an English one lmao. Anywayyyy, today was better afterwards after I had taken the test, I was knocked out for the last 10 mins of class! FOR ONCE =O But dang can't believe I was in the same class for 5 freakin hours lmao. Today...I learned to love everyone around me...except for that skank that tried to frame me, fuckin' bitch. lol. :) But happy day today, much better than Monday of course.
♥ My World My Life
4:00 PM
♥ Tuesday, May 4, 2010
"I will follow the light no matter where it goes"
Man I don't give a shit on whoever tries to bring me down. Ugh, I got people who have my back. I thought really hard to myself as to whether or not I should've told my friends about how I was framed yesterday or not, and I did it. I HAD to let someone know or it would've bothered me for the entire day, and I did not wanna face this alone! I may sound like a coward, but I'm definitely not gonna start shit, but if she wants to at least my friends are aware since they got my back. I'm pretty glad and happy. I don't know if he still believes her or not, I just wish he'd stop listening to her shit because I really don't like her and like I said yesterday, she can go burn in hell, but first she has to die. Anyway, unfortunately I have to end up taking the ACT again, AND at my school, because I WAS gonna sign up at another place, like a college, BUT DAMN THEY GOT NO MORE ROOM :( UNLUCKY!!!! Kill me. Might as well do the thing like JYP's teaser lol. AP Exam tomorrow. Ready to fail it.
♥ My World My Life
3:36 PM
♥ Monday, May 3, 2010
"I Wish for so many things, but they never happen"
So today was a major mess. I broke down crying after I got 'rejected' by my supposedly ex.... 0_0 but we're together again???? WHAT?! Omg, my eyes are seriously swollen, and the stupid freshman chick my friends warned me about FUCKIN FRAMED ME and was part of the mess as to where I couldn't even tell him my feelings. Thanks a lot bitch I think you should die and burn in hell now! May your spirit and soul be disrupted and dispersed by the avengeful demons!!! LOL wth I sound like a fuckin' witch or some shit. But man...not too many people are gonna like this. Wtf. So I caught up and found one of my old kool friend's FB!! AGHH! SO HAPPY. But not so happy about this bitch who's gonna try and ruin my fuckin' relationship. YOU EFFIN BLUE WAFFLE, SKANKY WHORE, LOW-LIFE BITCH! Sorry hahahaha. I had to get my anger out, and man one of my friends...even called her a Barbie Droid xD LMAO. I was like WTH? at first but then it made sense once I thought about it again. She looks like one. Anyway lmao. Oh great I'm laughing about it hahahaha. ANYWAYS....Idk if I should tell my friends or not, but ugh. AND another bad thing :( ...two more days till AP Exam and I haven't learned or studied shit. I feel terrible, I can't believe I'm gonna make the decision to like....LEARN ON THE NIGHT BEFORE.Not the wisest decision I've ever made.
♥ My World My Life
7:45 PM
♥
"Lost, Confused, Trapped, Don't know What To do..."
I still like you....alot...I just want you to know that...I just don't know if I can tell you or not, not just that but I don't know if I'm ALLOWED to tell you. The kiss on friday should've told you...=/ I know I'm sucha fool guys...but...I can't help myself when I like somebody. Please don't put me through this situation. I guess I must've really hurt him to have made him think that I lost all the feelings friday...because I guess the kiss did comfort him but I don't think he got it. Do I have to spell it out for him every single time? -___- bleh. Going to school now. Still haunted by the driving lessons yesterday btw 0_0
♥ My World My Life
3:58 AM
♥ Sunday, May 2, 2010
"Don't you hate it when the world pressures you all the time?"
Egh...so uhmm...I'm a bad driver overall. I'm just bad lol. I can't even make a right turn because well...I didn't slow down enough.... T____T then I ran over the ledge, and my dad got pissed at me and started cussing and shit and then I got all pissed off and was like "DAMN!" My mom and I....we're not really that close, we never were. Our relationship is okay. It's on an average level, I NEVER tell my parents shit on what I do because I just don't want them to be all up in my business. Mostly because with my mom, she NEVER understands me at all, which is why we mostly argue THE MOST. My dad understands me much more than she does, but not to the point where I can tell him exactly as to how I feel and what's going on in my life. Maybe...it'll get to that point of time one day but I'm not worried about it whatsoever. I just kinda got this feeling that my mom's relationship with me will go downhill pretty soon. She just...bleh...Anyway....tomorrow is Monday again...going back to school....I might run into him but I might not, I mean he has 2 weeks left, might as well should just come to school =/ He's so freakin' lazy...agh. But i told my friend to help me keep an eye on him and stuff because I got this vibe going on.....I mean it really did hurt me about what my friend had told me....telling me that he used to tell almost every girl at our school that they were the most beautiful girl at our school....first time I've heard that one, but I mean I was shocked to hear that and I was hurt, but I'm not surprised...I mean what am I supposed to do with that anyway? Nothing. Exactly. I guess it's just time to boost up my self confidence by looking more at asian celebrity pictures T____T and well whatever else that might help me. This is why dating a white guy makes asian girls have low self-esteem unless asian girls were the only type of girls they liked! So I guess there are many fears that I have: fear of balloons, getting fat, loud noises, closed spaces, the dark, spiders, heights, rejection/neglected, dating white guys, fear of success and hearing women scream as they're going through labor..YEAH DON'T ASK. I have issues. Major issues. I know I'm weird and can be really slow too but I can't help it, it's how I was born. Ugh. I just...wanna keep doing my best at things, and hopefully I'll gain everyone's respect one day. I don't try to screw up...
♥ My World My Life
3:57 PM
♥ Saturday, May 1, 2010
"Stupid people deserve me sticking out my tongue at them"
Okay so...you would think that people nowadays would be getting smarter and stuff right? Nope. Instead us humans are such arrogant, little rebels who are major critics. I mean, I gotta tell ya these stories just as a back up you know? lol. Anyway, so first of all, I remember that about like last year my mom attempted to help me with my fundraising and shit...even though I didn't really care for it that much it was only to just help out for prom but she comes home and I asked her how much she sold and she said only a couple since people like...give her dirty looks and stuff like that just because she asked and so I was like "why???" then of course, it was the whole thing about the economy. WELL SHIT. Why the hell are you people gettin mad at her?! It's not her fault that she's having to do this for her kids, because SOME company wants to manipulate kids who go to school and use them to help get people to buy their SHIZ!!! GAWD. GET WITH THE PROGRAM. I would've told their asses off for real. Another thing, people are just such...dumb shoppers nowadays...okay so...when you're BIG...and OLD...you don't shop for sexy lingerie okay?? Don't even think about touching them if they don't even look like they're your size! NO OFFENSE but we think that's really inappropriate! No one wants to see that or imagine that nasty krap. So then, my mom has a friend, in which she denies to be her best friend because she's ..um...on the ditzy level LOL....I know that's mean but it's true. My mom tells me how she shops and supposedly she shops for clothes that are pretty expensive...and you know what I said to my dad? I said "omg her clothes and style aren't even that great...its not even pretty! why would you waste your money on expensive clothing when you already have a bad sense of style?!?!" stupid................Anyway....my now...EX....idk what to do with him....I know he wants to get back with me and stuff...but I don't think so....plus if I don't I know he'll go around flirting with other girls and shit. And start touching them and feeling them and kissing them. SOOOO FOGET THAT! I'm not gonna deny it, I still have feelings for him...alot I guess...but if I was to tell anybody they'd all punch me in the face. Or tell me I'm stupid. REALLY stupid. Thanks...ergh...it's like I really wanna see him make a move on another girl so I can just tell his ass off, but then again I don't wanna get jealous and I just fuckin' HATE that feeling where my heart aches and then my entire chest and head starts burning up as if I'm about to melt ....ugh...because that's exactly how I feel when I find out that I'm BETRAYED.
♥ My World My Life
8:29 PM
♥
"Even if I'm no longer in your life, I still wish you the best in your life...we'll meet again."
I'm guilty. He's guilty. But I'm really planning on ending it this way, it'll just make it easy for me. I don't wanna hold back on everything because I should just learn to let go. I can't believe I even was about to fall for him. How could I not listen to the people who were trying to warn me....well I could answer that...probably because I thought I could change him, er thought I was capable of changing him but nope...My friend is right, save that for friendship not relationship. I mean...even a girl who went out with him for 6 months...told me that I did the right thing, so I really must have. He doesn't even like me like that. I told him straight into his eyes yesterday that he doesn't care. He told me it was bullshit. Is it really? After what all you tried doing last semester? I know I shouldn't believe what others say, but...you know...seriously....agh...After the 13th we won't be seeing each other for awhile, if we see each other again and if you've changed....I might reconsider unless you're with another girl. Ottoke...
♥ My World My Life
11:52 AM