I'm pretty easy to get along with just as long as you don't mess with me or start stuff,
I can be shy, I hardly ever talk unless you're one of my best/good friends, you talk to me first, or if i know you. I can't seem to make up my mind about being with somebody, I feel bad about it, but it's complicated right now to even tell wth my relationship status is right now =/.
I really don't like people who discriminate and tell me
and others what to do, I may not be perfect, but I sure know what's wrong and what's right. I'm a "nerd" in school, im pretty competitive also so watch out! lol.
People can say & see that im pretty pessimistic which is probably true, I'm also a stubborn girl, I usually go with my own 'instincts' rather than others, I go to only my
close friends for advice, they are the ones that give me the strength, courage and inspiration I need to go on :) I don't like people who talk to me when they don't like
me, so if you don't like me, better not talk to me for that matter. Don't try to destroy my pride&dignity because its always going to be there, I gain a lot of courage &
confidence through inspiration, faith, & believing in myself, & I will be expecting people to try & get in my way but their attempts won't work. I'm not a baby anymore, & I won't be used or tricked by people. I do not like it when
people assume every asian is Chinese, or eat dogs & cats for that matter. Don't jack/copy my style or anything that I do because its better for both sides when people are simple & stick with
their own things rather than copying me. Life can be & basically is complicated, & I have my own complications, I believe to go through the obstacles myself & learn from
my own lessons in order to improve, & this sometimes affects the way I act around the people who surround me, which is why I get misjudged easily & this is just to let you people know.
My personality can be weird, but who isn't? I'm a hard worker (sometimes an over-achiever T_T), I can be selfish & stubborn, but
I enjoy making & meeting new friends, I'm the most fobbiest asian girl you will ever meet!! I love listening to music, I love drawing, & my hands are cold all the time,
but I'm very warm-hearted<3 :) trust me. I'm VERY into my culture and asian culture, I get offended real easily if you talk about races and etc. If you ask
me for my opinion about things, I WILL be honest, I am a very honest person & can keep secrets. But other than those
things, enjoy my blog, get to know me, add me on facebook :) Thanks for reading this long ass paragraph about me, loves ;]
NOTE**: I DO NOT OWN THE ICONS THAT ARE ON EACH OF MY POSTS, THE ICONS ARE CREDITED TO THEIR RIGHTFUL OWNERS, THANK YOU [CREDITS TO: K-pop Icons]
♥ Monday, February 8, 2010
My Complicate Life ♥
Currently: "Dealing the Cards"
So what if I was to say I toughened up a bit, and changed the way I've been acting? Not changing who I am...but what if I was also to say that maybe it's possible that either fate or destiny chose the fact that I should not date anybody until I find the right guy in college? I don't know what this means, but I'm trying to play against the cards right now. Basically at this moment in time, I feel very confused and lost as to where I am right now. As a matter of fact I'd rather be the nobody like I used to be and not get the attention from any guy or anybody unless it's some accomplishment that I've earned the attention for, such as for my talent. I don't feel like my relationship at this moment in time, is gonna go anywhere farther because I don't even see him much in person and it just sucks. I got "called" out twice by my ex bf AND ex best friend, looks like I don't even care about that anymore I'm just simply going with the flow and doing what I need to be doing. Sometimes I just need time alone to think about what I have done and fix it in a matter of time. Last Monday, after looking back at the old novel that I had written back in Freshman year, it made me wonder where that side of me has gone..It's like I don't even give a shit about anything anymore, and I really don't know what I want. Is this whole relationship thing holding me back? Hell, I hope not. Usually I know to be stronger than to let these things get to me. But now I feel like a lazy ass dipshit. I should start changing that. I really need to get going. Whatever floats the boat for my relationship I'm willing to go on with that, and not having to worry about it. Same thing as for school and anything else. I'm about to fight back with whatever force coming at me, and I'm ready. It's time for this chick to get on and get moving. It's just all about the matter of dealing the cards, if life plays one card, then it's chosen to be that way, if I chose a card that counters it, then that's how it should be, if I was the one who lost, then this battle will continue until the day I die.
Supposedly, I'm a person who gets really depressed at one point, but can't stand it much longer, therefore,...I just start smiling randomly again..even when I shouldn't be smiling cause there's nothing to be smiling about =/ I just feel like crying at this moment...I think it's because...I've really started to like him..I don't know what to do..I don't know what to do with my feelings..It doesn't even seem like he's that interested in me..that much...But I'm not sure...I'm not sure about anything anymore. I'm also a person who makes sacrifices also..especially when it's necessary...Even though I know that it won't make me really that happy anymore if I make sacrifices..but in order to move on in life..I have to..I have no choice but to do so. I just feel so depressed right now..and sad..I really wanna cry but I can't because I guess it's not necessary to. But I guess it's just better to smile and pretend like everything's okay...