Currently: In Thought..All to Myself
I'm way too tired to be updating alot and I only have 15 mins in order to get myself ready in a sec for breakfast..Therefore, I'll be updating later tonight...Yesterday was pretty much a bad day..I'm glad that I had talked to him about things...Well I sortaa did..But I'm just wondering why he wouldn't tell me it..probably because he doesn't wanna hurt me..Just like he said last night when I told him that if he feels necessary that he should leave me..then he should..but he currently doesn't know either... =/ I don't wanna leave him..and he knows that..But I don't know what he wants to think anymore..It just hurts me on the inside..because he's leaving me worrying about these things...He's worrying about things too..but probably not as much as I am...I'm worried that we won't last long...I'm worried that he'll leave me soon..I don't want for that to happen..If it does..I think I should be at least prepared for it..I don't think I should try to get myself attached to him much anymore..or any further I should say...I'm planning on seeing him again this weekend..But I'm just not so sure anymore..I was thinking of paying one of my best friends to take me there after a photoshoot for one of our other good friends..But I don't know anymore..I don't know if there will be enough time...Shit..if only I hadn't liked somebody who lived all the way across town from me.. ): Yeah this reeks ass, school feels like it's gonna be like shit too..Expect the unexpected! Well gotta get ready for school now. Updates Much later.
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OMG WTF. My Life can get worse...Arraso? My god...Today was like the shittiest day I have ever had! I was in 1st block...I cried for 30 mins during that hour...I had to leave the class because of it...! I guess my teacher just excused me for it because he felt bad that the box that I made my mom as a birthday gift got all ruined! UGH b/c some stupid dumbass or bitch did not know how to load the piece of delicate artwork made of clay into the kiln! It's ruined..I was gonna impress my mom for it too, but now it's freakin' ruined....What am I to do...Gawd...and now my relationship doesn't look oh so well either....I think....omg I don't wanna say it...but I think he's gonna break up with me soon.... ): My friend told me not to worry...but how am I not? Anyway, I gotta vocab quiz to do, and to read a long chapter for our novel in English class, and then look over stuff for the Math test tomorrow ugh wth...I can't wait till this week ends..=/ Luckily tomorrow's the last day...I can't stand it...People can be such stupid, ignorant, and the most obnoxious things living on this planet, ...I mean don't get me wrong, I love people and meeting them and talking to them, but only when I'm in a good mood! At the same time I dislike them =/ Anyway...update about my...I don't even wanna say it either...relationship...later
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My ex is annoying me..I'm in a bad mood, I'm having a bad day, my bf is still acting like how he is for the past 2 days..I'm sick and tired. Why the eff do relationships have to be so god damn complicated. Gawd, okay I'm not even gonna lie..I just wanted to be able to "fall in love" (if it's even possible anymore) with a really good looking guy..like the one I'm with right now...but in return he has to feel the same way too..I just don't want it to get all ruined because of some sort of reason I don't even know about. I mean, not only his looks..but..his personality too...God this sucks so bad, been turned down by nearly 2 guys now who I really wanted to end up with...but CAN'T. Because of some stupid, ridiculous, REASON in which I cannot even find a good looking, perfect guy to be with! and NO I'm not going back to my ex whatsoever. Shit..wtf..UGH!!! MAN FML! I swear! People don't like me! Even my own existance and life does not like me, if that even makes sense...o_0 GAHHH! IM ABOUT TO GO CRAZY! MICHYEOSSEO!! AGH! I'm so confused...I felt like I've done something wrong...But he tells me that I didn't do anything wrong...I feel all so lost on the inside, it's like as if the reaper escaped with my soul...and runs off somewhere with it, crushes it, then throwing it into a pitch black vortex that crawls slowly into a thousand dimensions. YEAH. CRAZY I know right? Gawd...and now he's telling me that he's been confused if whether or not he wants to be with anyone. THIS HASNT BEEN THE FIRST TIME PEOPLE. OMG. Somebody...just make me disappear somewhere..into a world full of peace, where I'm just all alone and happy being all alone with myself where I can just do anything I want...Well okay I'm lying..maybe 1 friend wouldn't hurt, and maybe a couple of guys...chicks...damn nevermind I don't even know where I'm going with this.
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ONLY 2 WEEKS AND NOW ITS OVER...FUCK THIS SHIT. I'm DONE. Guys can be such assholes I swear. They charm you then they break your heart like you're a little no good for nothin'. SINGLE. PEACE.