"It is possible for a friendship to be cut off in less than a second"
It's just truly amazing how a friendship can raise upon a hill but may fall back down in less than a second. I decided to just basically end any of the closeness I feel for my friends. Sometimes people say you shouldn't give up, but if it's something that's holding you back, it's necessary to do what you need to do. My friendship with more than 2 of my close friends went downhill I guess. I just got off of the phone with one of my close friends awhile ago, she also told me how jacked up it was for my other friend to not come to my party and not give me a reason why either. I told her the truth you know, about both my guy friend and my other chick friend who couldn't make it to my party, and about how I feel like at one point we were getting close, but then it went downhill because of either a "natural force" or because of the path that they chose. I, myself, am basically a pretty straightforward person, I stick to just one path, unless something big happens and there was a sudden dramatic change. I don't change suddenly. I have reasons for my doings. I give people my reasons when I have them and if they're curious. Either way, I just think it's necessary for me to just back off of these friendship things even though it was bothering me a bit before, well not really, but it's not important and I don't want it to get in the way with something I'm trying to do to reach my goal. I even told myself how it's amazing and surprising how each of my friends are drifting from me slowly...Not like I want it to happen, but it's life..right? It just seems like they're using it as an excuse to get away from me and drop the friendship they have with me and any connection or ties that we had in the past because I'm just some dumb, stupid, pathetic, little girl. Haha, I know that's not the reason, but life is making it seem that way lol. It doesn't bother me really, I mean, I don't wanna sound cruel or anything, but...if me being lonely makes it another step closer to being more successful than anybody else or ever before, then I'm willing to truly accept this matter of fact. :) This may be a harsh saying, but I'd rather it be me and just my family, with me being 99.9% successful most of the times, than having close ties to almost everyone I know that are my friends. Friends are a great thing and I know you need them in life, but you don't need a close tie with all of them. The friends I have now, are still my good friends and I won't let go of them for that matter, but considering and worrying about the close connections, I'm not too worried about it and I'm not gonna stress myself about it.
Well, I should be asleep now, since it's already 10 and I have to wake up at 5 to go back to school =/ bleh. Seriously, I'm not psyched to go back to school, my school is full of BLEH people. I can't wait to graduate and go to college and relieve myself from all this high school stress and just leave it all behind me and just start a new "educational" adulthood life lmao. I wanna meet new people and start over, I'm done and sick and tired of seeing all of the same people they gross me out and disgust me for that matter. They're just not nice!!! Anyway...I'm offie. I'll update tomorrow.
NIGHT WORLD :D :D
