"As parents, you gave me more scars than any guy ever had in my entire life"
I may sound selfish for saying this, but all of this comes truly from the heart.
I really do appreciate all the things that my parents have done for me, or HAVE TRIED to do for me.
Honestly though, most of the times, they've done nothing but scar me.
Trapping me inside this house like I'm a worthless prisoner, I don't have any power or control over my life or how I want to live my life, I just wish there was somebody to set me free from this horrid cage. At first I thought I had found the guy that would help me, but he wasn't the one...and then the other one, his heart belongs somewhere else obviously =/ and for the OTHER OTHER one...he's just too busy worried about himself and all the other girls he enjoys talking to and flirting with. No one can save me now, if only there was a miracle...but then I'd just be crazy to be thinking that.
I know you care about me and worry about me, but is this the way to treat me in reality?
Do you even know what you're doing to me and do you even know how much this has affected me or IS going to affect me? Thanks alot. I hardly have any freedom and everyday I'm suffering from breathing the same air and dust inside this damn house every single day and I can't even leave the house when I want to, I cannot wait 'till I turn 18 and I think by that time, I don't think you'll be of much help to me either since all you're going to do is lecture me about how I'm still too young to even be doing whatever the hell I want. I just want to prove to you that I can do it, learn more about life on the outside, learn more of what I want to do in life if you let me out of this damn contraption of hell! That I can make it without being trapped inside this damn house 24/7. I'm starting to get so sick and tired of being bored all the time, I just wanna fall asleep in a long coma, as long as I want it to be, as to where I'm my own world...full of endless dreams, fantasies and eternal bliss and where I'm free to do whatever I want and actually be ABLE to be happy. I'm not going to let you control my life or my happiness, even if that means I DIE. I'm sure enough done with this and I have my mind set on the fact that I'll prove to them that I can make it through with all this without their CONTROL over my life! I think that them controlling my life is what is holding me back right now...holding me back from everything, the reason for my illness, the reason for my insecurities, the reason for my stupidity, EVERYTHING. I just wanna find that one person, and run away with them,..run away from life and just live a happy life. BLEH...but I gotta consider MY own happiness and life first before I even think about my future "partner" since it's WAY too early for that krap. I'll do whatever I can.
Believe me.
Watch over me, my guardian angel. Please.
Please...somebody save me...