"Sorry that I can't give you more than what I have"
I realized that you can't even trust yourself because of what you might say and based on the actions you take, so obviously, you can't really trust anybody =/ Sometimes I don't even trust my parents for that matter because they're not always right and even though they WOULD know mostly of what is best for me, but I think I also know what is best for myself too. No one, I mean I repeat, NO ONE can be trusted. Most definitely not the guys that I like right now too. I made a vow so I should stick to it, I shouldn't be worried, I'm less worried now, it's his choice, and it's to whoever he chooses to be his, I'll be fine either way because only 2 months after his vow has been made, I'm graduating and moving onto college, so I'll meet other guys there, It won't be that much of a big deal, I just was hoping that I didn't have to go to WSU T___T But I'm kinda forced to so it's really whatever lol. I'm not looking forward to it really, the only thing I'm looking forward to is graduating. I should also make a vow as to where I'll have the best summer, well...I was thinking about it, but the only time I'm probably gonna have a good time is during Texas and that's it...other than that I don't really think my parents are even gonna lemme outta the house anytime earlier than this or any later for that fact -___- Damn parents. At least I'm getting a new cell this weekend and hopefully I can text more than I usually can. God damn it, why do my parents have to be such cheapskates FO REAL.
With the "issue" that I'm having now, I guess I should LOWER the amount of time that I talk to him and stuff, the both of them that is...because I'm thinking of what my cousin said, but then I'm also debating on what my old middle school friend told me too, they're really good view points coming from both sexes xD My cousin, which is a girl, she said that "if he's not devoted to you, you don't needta be" and that's definitely true! It's like ...I don't have a life if I keep chasing after them if they're not devoted to me and having feelings for some other girls and flirting with a whole buncha other girls!!! But then again...I also have the choice of keeping them close, that way when I'm ready....they just MIGHT be my options >.< Because just like my old middle school friend said...he said that since the other girl lives in a whole 'nother country, I have the advantage so I should take the advantage....but still...it won't change the fact as to where his heart is...and where it lies...is it still in for debate? Or has he kinda already made his mind? We all won't know until the time comes....when the time comes, then we'll know if his heart lies with her or with me...or possibly some other chick .... 0_0 I just wish I was more like the main character in my book...strong, hot, and lonely and doesn't care about the guys in the world LOL Honestly right now, I think his heart belongs to her, or somebody else that I might not know but I don't think he'd lie to me since he was honest enough to tell me he liked another girl other than me. =/ I mean....I'm sorry that I can't give more to him than what all that I have...I can't be any more "perfect" to attract his attention but it usually just depends on how the guy feels about a certain girl so I have no right to object to anything or to interfere with his love-life since it's his choice, and even if I was more "perfect" (I don't mean perfect, perfect but I don't know how else to put it so I'm using this term lol) I don't think he'd care because it's who he likes/loves that actually only matters. But they're GUYS you never know, men like to be lil devils.
The book I'm reading right now, makes guys look like nasty, perverted, jerks xD It's funny actually.
I'm hoping to read it some more today if I get the time. I kinda doubt it since I shoulda been studying for my test last night but I stayed up talking to him =/ I feel bad now. Well I'll still get an A in the class if I don't do good on my test anyway...but since I have to study for it during classtime I don't think i'll have the chance to read my book... :( booooo! It was getting good too =/ TODAY'S MY LAST DAY OF GOV. SUMMER SCHOOL BTW!!! WOOOOOT! I'm soo happy for myself, that I don't have to see those damn stupid, rude people anymore!! LOL.
Wish me luck, PEACE :)
I'ma senior babyyyy, Gonna have fun with my bestie next year! :D